"Maybe I should have listened to Hoseok and given you up when I had the chance." Everything inside of him ached. He had given up trying to count the bruises covering his skin, or how many of his muscles felt like they were separating each time he moved.
But the scent of vanilla filled his senses and he knew that his child was safe, had been spared the pain and suffering that his mother had endured.
"They're not going to let me your mom." Laying there under the glare of the moonlight, listening to drops of rain as they fell against the roof, he let his hand fall down to where his stomach swelled, rubbing soothing circles against the stretched skin with his thumb. "But I promise, I am going to take care of you. I'm going to protect you and keep you safe. You're always going to know how much I love you. No matter what."
...
"What are you doing here?" It was a rushed, hurried whisper, spoken into the wind as he watched Hoseok climb through the open space of his window, jumping from the near by tree branch in a way he had never considered possible.
"I wanted to see you." It had been weeks. Yoongi wasn't even allowed to attend family dinners any longer. In fact, he was convinced the only time he was even supposed to leave his room was to go to the doctor. "My alpha is going crazy not knowing how you two are."
"We're fine." They were not fine. But he was trying to stay strong, trying to not break down completely. His hand went down to the swell of his belly, and he smiled as the little one kicked in response. "Quick, give me your hand." There was a split second of hesitation, and he laughed as he reached forward to take hold of a slender wrist, drawing the alpha forward. Placing the warm palm against the top of his stomach, he gently traced after the kicks he felt. "Come on, little guy. Show daddy."
"Yoongi what -" Only then did he feel it. A little fluttering against his hand as the scent of vanilla somehow bloomed even fuller in the hair, followed by the strangest sensation he had ever experienced. A little foot moving against his hand, despite there being layers of skin and clothing separating them. "Holy shit."
"See? Your son is so strong." Sometimes he thought all that was currently keeping him going was the strength of this child inside of him. Like his son was an angel that had been sent to save him.
"It's a boy?" Their parents never once mentioned anything about Yoongi or the child, despite how many times he had asked for information, framing it as concern for his little step brother and the ordeal he was facing.
"Yeah. I've been trying to think of names, but -" But they weren't going to let him name the child either. He doubted they would even allow him to hold it.
"Hey." His heart broke at the sadness that crossed the omega's face, and he let out a soft sound as he reached forward, arms slipping around slender shoulders to draw him in.
"It isn't fair." He tried. He tried so incredibly hard. But in the end, the tears won, and they fell freely, soaking the cotton of the shirt his alpha wore.
"I know baby. I'm so sorry. I should have... I should have done something. I should have just taken you and left when you found out." Regret ran bone deep, like a river flowing through his entire being.
"Maybe it isn't too late." But it was. And they both knew it.
"Yoongi -"
"Right. How would I climb down the tree." It was ridiculous, and the thought of it was enough to make him laugh. A quick little sound, a moments respite before the next round of tears.
Tears were all he was ever going to be capable of again.
...
Thirty six hours. That was the time it took to bring his son into the world. And every single one of them had been entirely and completely worth it.
December Fourth. The singular best day of his entire life. His little miracle. The one and only Christmas present that he would ever need.
Shockingly, they had allowed him to hold his own child, a gift he wasn't sure he was ever going to receive. But they had, apparently, decided that it was best if the child was breast fed, and the only one who was currently capable of completing that feat was him. Something deep inside told him it was his step father's doing, like some last little gift he had managed to secure. A few hours per day where he would be able to pretend as if none of this was real. That it was just him and his son in some perfect world where he was allowed to be his mother and not have to lie for the rest of his life.
...
December Fifth. The singular worst day of his entire life. When his rights had been stripped away with a few strokes of the pen. He didn't even know if his signature was legible, only that he instantly regretted each curve, every movement causing his heart immeasurable pain.
...
"Hello again, little one." It was past midnight when the thin cry broke through the peaceful air, and he had instantly found himself getting up, moving from his room to the tiny one located directly across from it. His son quieted instantly at the sound of his voice, and he smiled as he leaned down, mindful of the babies head as he lifted him. "You can't be hungry already."
But he went through the motions anyway. Changed his diaper with gentle care. Attempted to get him to feed. Before finally settling into the rocker, the little babe with his head laid directly above his heart, one hand beneath his butt while the other rubbed slow circles across his back.
"I guess you just needed mama huh. That's okay. I needed you too." These moments were endlessly precious, priceless little bits of time that were spent with his child. Where he could act as if he was truly his mother, and not just a doting older brother. "I love you so much, little one." Leaning down, he pressed his lips against the soft mess of dark hair atop his baby's head, breathing in deeply and taking in the sweet scent of vanilla. "Mama's gonna take the best care of you."
...
"Yoongi."
"Yes mother?" Everything in him wanted to rebel against responding as respectfully as he did. But he had no other choice. If he wanted to remain at his son's side, he had to play their game.
"Take Hoseok upstairs and show him the baby. I'm sure he wants to meet his new brother too." God he wanted to throw up all over her at that moment. To scream and yell and correct her every word.
"Of course."
...
"He's so beautiful, Yoongi." They're son was tiny and gorgeous and somehow looked exactly like both of them and neither of them at the exact same time.
"Yeah." Leaning down, he picked the tiny babe up, smiling as he coo'ed at the movement. "You do make pretty great pups."
"You did all the work." It was exceptionally unfair that Yoongi should have suffered so much for their child while he had gotten off entirely.
"It was worth it."
