All that he wanted in the entire world was to fall face down into the warmth and comfort of his own bed and slip into the peaceful oblivion of sleep. Not that his dreams provided relief from the horrors of the waking world. No, they were filled with terror and monsters and dread and sometimes he had to wait until he was so exhausted he could barely even force his eyes to remain open before he could bring himself to face them.
Coming out of the darkness and into the bright sunlight was almost blindingly painful, a searing sensation settling behind his eyes and driving into his skull. It didn't matter how dark his glasses were, nothing could fully replicate the conditions of being inside. Even as he slipped into his car and started the engine, tugging a ball cap down low over his eyes and shoving down his visor, it was still almost too much.
Everything was too much.
Remembering when he had been young and eager and ready to take on the world was strange now, a distant memory that seemed like it happened to someone else. Perhaps he'd only been so vivid and alive because of who was beside him. An Omega so beautiful and bright that it made him better simply by being in his presence. Everything had been for him, for Jimin, for them and their life together.
Now there was nothing.
There was something. Despite how much he wanted to give up, there was something. A little ray that was tugging him back from the darkness that had seemed to envelop him so completely. Was he even strong enough to attempt to start a new life? It felt like he was in limbo, stuck between the finality of one life and the desperate desire to start over.
Seokjin felt like starting over.
...
Somehow, it seemed like the tiny omega always seemed to magically show up just when he needed him most. Currently he was sitting at the foot of the first flight of stairs leading up, trying to work up the strength and energy required to actually make the climb.
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were waiting for me." It was such a silly thought, and he hadn't allowed himself to entertain it for any longer than it took to say it.
"I was." Without even realizing it, he was. Sitting there waiting for an angel to descend from heaven and provide him with the light he needed to transcend the darkness. "I needed to see something beautiful."
There was a pause, a moment where he thought maybe the compliment hadn't been heard. Or that it was just too much. That he had already come to rely on someone so much was wrong. He shouldn't need anyone else's light to shine upon him. He should be capable of making his own.
But there were soft sounds all around him, foot steps on the stairs and the whispering of cloth and when he opened his eyes it was to find the ethereal being kneeling before him, one hand reaching out to press against his chest.
"Then look in here." Seokjin didn't have to know everything to know that Jungkook's heart was beautiful. How could it not be? When he gave so much of himself every single day.
"It's not enough." His own hand slowly lifted, covering the soft, delicate one that was currently pressed against his heart.
"It is." It was so strong. A perfect, soothing rhythm that he wanted to memorize, ingrain the sound so deeply into his mind that it would never fade. "But I'll be here when it's not."
"Don't make promises you can't keep." That his eyes should fall from dark brown to luscious pink was an unintended accident that he did nothing to actually correct.
"I keep all of my promises, Alpha." That Seokjin would do nothing to attempt to change it, but only draw in his attention more had to be some sort of cosmic sign. That he would suck the bottom one into his mouth, scrape his teeth along the tender flesh and release so slowly had to be an invitation.
That he took it should have been a mistake. Should have been. This was not supposed to happen when he was exhausted to the point of tears and so deeply engrossed in his own dark thoughts that he couldn't even find the strength to climb four flights of stairs. Yet it was, and the word mistake didn't even cross his mind.
Instead it was filled with the thought that he knew how those lips felt now. So soft and plush and they tasted just like Seokjin smelled. Sweet like honey, dripping down onto his senses and flooding them, clouding them until this was all he knew.
It was slow, nothing more than a brushing caress of lips and a flash of those eyes before they were fading and Seokjin was the one leaning back in, nudging their noses together and sinking into it. He lost track of time, taking it all in until he was drunk on warmth and sugar.
Until a distant beep broke through and caught his attention and his omega - when had he begun down that dangerous line of thinking? Where Seokjin was his, where the omega belonged to him that he had any right to feel the level of possessiveness he currently did - was pulling away, reaching into his pocket and retrieving his cell phone.
"I have to go." It felt like he was peeling off a layer of his own soul as he moved away, reaching down to lift his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder in one shift moment. But he made the mistake of glancing down, eyes catching onto swollen, glistening lips, followed by the mistake of cupping both cheeks within his palms, leaning down and pressing another kiss against them. "See you tonight, alpha."
...
An angel's strength was just enough to get him up the stairs, sore, tired feet barely making it through the front door before he was ready to collapse. Flopping down onto the sofa without even bothering to remove his uniform wasn't a wise decision, especially when he leaned sideways, intent on simply closing his eyes for no longer than the span of a minute. Only to wake up hours later, sore and stiff, with the imprint of his handcuffs on his belly.
Dragging himself into the bedroom had been a monumental task, and he seriously contemplated the merits of simply throwing in the towel. Stripping down piece by piece, until he was left bare and vulnerable, he threw himself onto the bed, kicking at the covers and turning onto his belly.
It wouldn't be so bad. To just be done. To finally be finished.
But that wasn't who he was. He had somehow survived each and every thing the universe had thrown at him up until now. Giving up when he had an actual angel within his grasp would be so incredibly stupid the thought didn't even deserve to be fully formed. There was a new life looming on the horizon, a sunrise so devastatingly beautiful he could feel it beginning in his very soul.
And he wanted it more desperately than he wanted to breathe.
