It felt as though the days were endless, a painful cycle that had no true beginning and no real end. There was nothing more than this, a race that held no finish line, a middle with no way to progress forward.
Maybe he was the one who wasn't going to survive it.
...
When it felt like the end was near and he could finally give up, could finally give in to the weakness that plagued his every waking moment, he would catch and glimmer of hope. Would hear the sound of his alpha's voice or have a wave of his scent wash over him. Would look over and realize that the answer to his very life was right beside him. Right withing reach.
There would be no end, because his alpha was the beginning of everything.
...
They hadn't spoken of it. And maybe that was what made it worse. Neither of them seemed capable of address the proverbial elephant that had taken up residence with them. Or the tension that occasionally hung heavy in the air when one of them would say something and the memory would come flooding back. They had seemingly been content to just let it be, to act as if nothing had ever happened. Natural, like everything would just fall into place simply because they willed it so.
Unfairly Jungkook had gone back to that same mental tally, silently counting up each point without even realizing, only stopping himself when one side began to tilt in that omega's favor and he would scold himself into stopping. Until it began again and the entire cycle would repeat.
Jimin should have been winning. Years could not be undone in the span of days and weeks. Yet with each passing moment Seokjin's scale was gradually lowering under the weight of the constant perfection he displayed. Jimin should have been winning. But Seokjin had already taken over him long ago. Had taken his mind. Had taken his heart. Had taken every single part of him and slowly began transforming it into something different. Into something better.
His soul didn't need to follow. Because it had been with Seokjin since the moment he had arrived in this world.
...
Time did not heal all wounds. No, it only healed those that were carved into flesh and bone. But even those left behind scars, painful reminders that the bearer had survived everything that had tried to end them.
He would carry these scars for the rest of his days, ugly masses of torn flesh that would be constant reminders of the reality he lived. Of the dangers he willingly faced.
That he could use his left arm at all was nothing short of a miracle, strength slowly returning to destroyed muscles and feeling seeping back into damaged nerves until all that was left were residual phantom pains and red, raised flesh.
Each and every day he closed his eyes and reminded himself of the precious gift that he had been given in the form of this omega. That heaven had truly sent him an angel to give him the strength to continue on. If it hadn't been for Seokjin, for the tug and pull of his soul simply by being within his presence, he would have given up. Given in and gone into the light instead of lingering the darkness.
Seokjin was his light. And he had saved him from the darkness.
...
"Seokjin." Night had fallen and with it came a quiet sort of lull that he could only appreciate. His internal clock hadn't quite gotten the memo that it didn't need to still be nocturnal, because he still followed the exact same pattern as he always had.
"Yes alpha?" They were perched upon the edge of his bed, Seokjin lifted up onto his knees as he ran a soft cloth against the skin of his back, wiping away the dirt and sweat that sleep had brought. There were still bandages around his middle, despite the ones on his shoulder having long since been removed, the wound much cleaner and healing much faster as a result.
"Why are you still here?" There was a sense of pain carried along with those words, like they carried a weight he could no longer bear.
"Why wouldn't I be?" His hands moved slowly, carefully trailing the cloth across the other's spine, before dipping downwards.
"Because I left you." Twisting slightly, he adjusted the angle of his body so they could see each other over the rise of his shoulder. "Because I couldn't even wait for you."
"You were right, alpha." As much as it pained him to admit that one truth, to say that he had been wrong and Jungkook had been right. "I didn't know what it meant to be your mate. I still don't think I really do."
"If this isn't something you want anymore -" It felt like he was dying. Saying those words, having that thought sink into his mind felt like he was dying. There was no way he could possibly survive losing another omega. Not when it felt like their entire beings were meant for one another.
"I want to be your mate more than I want to breathe." Those gentle movements against his skin had stopped, the sound of water splashing softly as the cloth was returned to it. Before the bed shifted beneath the weight of the tiny omega and his arms were wrapping around strong shoulders and his nose was nuzzling against his scent gland and the warmth of sweet vanilla bean came crashing over him.
"I want that too, little one." Leaning back into the tender embrace, he sighed softly as he moved to nudge his nose against his omega's chin, seeking out his throat, into his pulse point and over his scent gland, sea breeze blooming the air that surrounded them. "I can't wait to claim you."
"Alpha." There were so many emotions contained within that one word, lips parting with the sound. Mindlessly his head had fallen to the side, baring the entirety of his throat to his alpha, a sign of submission and vulnerability. "You don't have to wait."
Something inside of him seemed to come to life, awaken so suddenly that he could barely reign it in, could barely bring it until his control. Soft lips trailed along the thick cord of muscle, before pressing against the place where he felt that strong heart beating against the flesh.
"Don't tempt me, angel." It would be so incredibly easy to bite down, to sink his teeth into the scent gland and forge the bond their souls had already created. To make this beautiful omega the bearer of his mark, to make him his. To push him down onto the bed and seal it properly, leaving them both breathless and sated.
"Tell me one reason why I shouldn't." There was something almost ironic about saying those words now. "Give me one reason why you and I can't have each other."
Once, Seokjin had been the one to speak, to name the reason and face the consequences. Once Jungkook had been the one to push him away, to watch as he crumbled from the force of it.
"Because your alpha isn't strong enough to take you yet." His alpha was still weak, still fragile and healing from wounds so deep it seemed as though they would never fade. Despite how desperate he was for their bond to be solidified, for their teeth to sink into each other's sink and for their marks to be left behind, he wanted a bond that would be strong. That could never, ever be broken.
"Please don't make me wait too long." It felt like he might die if he wasn't allowed to have his alpha soon. Like his omega might truly begin to fade until there was nothing left of him but dust and ashes. "Your omega needs you so much."
"Soon." The word was released like a promise, something deep and precious, lips trailing up from his omega's neck to press against his jawline, to follow along the ridge until they reached his lips. It was slow, a counter balance to the way his heart was pounding within his chest. But their kiss lingered until both of them were left gasping for air and his omega's eyes had lightening into golden brown while his own seeped into pitch black.
"Promise me." It felt so close to begging, a desperate attempt to get something more than what he already had. "Please, Jungkook. Please promise you won't leave me again."
"I will never leave you, Seokjin." Their eyes met, something sparking between them and he felt it then, stronger and more intense than ever. The connection formed by the souls, by the hearts and minds. "I promise."
"Then I'll wait for you." It was enough to sooth his omega, this new knowledge. This new promise that he felt reverberate all the way down to his bones.
He would wait. And pray that the end to this particular cycle came before he broke any further.
