Sky Full Of Stars

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I'm currently facing my laptop right now dahil nagvi-video call kami ni Daddy.

“Dad, payag ka na ba na papasok ako sa University na 'yon? 1 month na lang po and the classes will soon start,” I said pleadingly.

He just worriedly looked at me. “I've already made my decision, Lyra. Matagal ko nang pinag-isipan 'to.”

“Then what is your decision?”

“You're not going to a normal school muna, sa college na siguro.”

“What? But Dad, I wanted to live a normal life and I wanted to end this phobia. I'm so tired being trapped in the four corners of this house.”

“My decision is final, Lyra. And may psychiatrist ka naman, she'll surely help you. I'm ending this call right now, I need to go back to work.”

Padabog kong isinara ang laptop ko and tears are falling from my eyes. Umasa ako e, umasa ako na magiging normal na ang buhay ko, umasa ako na magkakaroon na ako ng mga kaibigan.

'Yon pala, umasa lang ako. Kasi gan'to pa rin ang buhay ko, isang modernong Rapunzel.

Sana buhay pa si Mommy, minsan naiinggit ako sa mga ka-edad ko na kompleto ang pamilya nila. May Mommy sila na p'wedeng pagsabihan ng problema, may Daddy sila na magtatanggol tuwing nasa kapahamakan sila.

I think, I'm the most unlucky person alive. Hindi na nga kompleto ang pamilya, wala pang kaibigan, at sobrang boring ng buhay ko.

I want to break free. I want to be adventurous. I want to try different things.

What does it feel like to be loved?

I stared at myself at the vanity mirror, tears are falling from my eyes. I'm nothing, but a girl who wants to seek attention from his Dad. A girl with dreams, but doesn't live a normal life.

May nakita akong cutter na nakapatong sa vanity mirror ko, a suicidal idea popped into my mind. Maybe, the only way to end my phobia is to end my life.

I was about to cut my wrist when I heard three knocks from my door.

Ibinalik ko ang cutter sa vanity mirror and I immediately opened the door.

“Lyra, pupunta na ako sa coffeeshop, do you want to come with me?” Aunt Sally asked.

Napapadalas ata ang pag-aya n'ya sa 'kin na pumunta sa coffeeshop.

“Sige po, pero mauna na lang po kayo, maglalakad na lang po ako papuntang coffeeshop.”

“Sigurado ka?” tanong ni Aunt Sally and she looked at me hesitantly.

“Opo!” I replied and showed her a thumbs up.

I immediately changed my clothes. I chose to wear a high waisted pants and a fitted turtleneck long sleeves.

Mas mabuti na rin siguro na pumunta ako sa coffeeshop, kasi baka kung ano pa ang magawa ko sa sarili ko kung mananatili ako rito sa bahay.

I don't wanna hurt myself anymore.

I'm tired of cutting my wrist, and attempting to end my life.

Nagsimula na akong maglakad papuntang coffeeshop. Walking distance din lang naman ito mula sa bahay namin. Habang naglalakad ay may naririnig akong ingay mula sa likod, ayaw ko sanang lumingon pero sadyang chismosa ako.

Napapikit naman ako nang makita ko kung sino 'yong nasa likuran ko, sila na naman kasi and "sila" means ang magkakaibigan na 'yon.

Pero hindi sila apat ngayon, lima na sila. May kasama silang isang babae na may dala-dalang bible, magba-bible study ba sila?