Sky Full Of Stars

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Maulan na naman sa labas. I'm currently standing in front the glass window of our second floor habang pinagmamasdan ang bawat patak ng ulan.

"The skies are crying again," I heard a familiar voice, kaya ay napalingon ako. Dumating na pala si Tita Madi, counseling na naman.

Umupo ako sa sofa at gano'n din ang ginawa ni Tita Madi, we are both staring at the glass window. Ayaw ko sana mag-counseling ngayon kasi mas gusto ko na matulog na lang, sayang din ang lamig ng panahon.

"You have no sketch for today? It's been a while since you've shown me the last sketch," wika ni Tita Madi, and because of that I realized na naiwan ko pala sa k'warto ang sketch ko.

"Kukunin ko lang po muna sa k'warto."

Dali-dali kong kinuha ang sketch na nakalapag sa ibabaw ng study table ko, nagkalat pa roon ang mga materials na ginamit ko.

Agad akong bumalik sa sala ng second floor namin, at naabutan ko si Manang Hilda may dala-dala s'yang tray na may laman na two cups of coffee and ube silvana. Umupo na ako sa sofa and Manang Hilda excused herself.

"Here's my sketch for today," I said sabay lahad ng vellum board kay Tita Madi.

"Who is she?" she asked at tila sinusuri nang maigi ang sketch.

"Piaree Florencio."

"Tell me about her."

"Hmm, she's kind, sweet, I think almost all positive adjectives can describe her. She's a woman of faith, and that's one of the qualities that I love about her. Sa aming lahat, she's our ray of sunshine," I said with a smile because Piaree's face suddenly flashed inside my head.

"Like the usual, I'm keeping this sketch, pero ibabalik ko rin," she said and I just nodded.

"Ok, no worries."

"Nag-usap na ba kayo ng Dad mo?"

That question suddenly turned my mood down. It feels like anytime soon ay maiiyak na lang ako.

Umiling ako. "Hindi ko pa s'ya nakakausap. Hinihintay ko na s'ya ang unang tumawag sa 'kin, ayaw kong maka-istorbo sa kan'ya. Besides, if he really cares about me, or if he really thinks about me s'ya na mismo ang tatawag sa 'kin."

"Lyra, your Dad loves you."

"My dad loves me, oo, siguro, pero dati na 'yon because ever since my Mom died parang kinalimutan na rin n'ya na may anak s'ya. Siguro kung wala akong phobia, hindi rin 'yon mag-aalala sa 'kin."

"Lyra, 'wag mong pag-isipan ng gan'yan ang Daddy mo. He's also fighting his own battles, mahirap ang pinagdaanan n'yong dalawa since your Mommy died, you should be there for each other."

"How can we be there for each other? Kung simpleng pagtawag lang sa isa't-isa hindi namin magawa?"

Tita Madi played with my hair. "Try calling him later, or before you sleep tumawag ka sa kan'ya. Don't let this day end without talking to your Dad."

"I'll try."

"No, don't just try it, you should do it. Promise me Lyra, you'll do it."

I sighed. "Ok, I promise."

After the counseling ay pumasok ako sa k'warto, umupo ako sa study table habang kaharap ang laptop ko. My Dad is active on FaceTime, pero nagda-dalawang isip ako kung makikipag-video call ba ako o hindi.

Baka kasi busy s'ya sa barko ngayon. Hays, bahala na nga. Pikit mata kong pinindot ang video call button, at wala pang isang minuto ay sinagot ito ni Daddy. Tumambad sa 'kin ang nakangiting mukha ni Daddy, he's wearing his seaman uniform and he smiled at me, but I can sense that he is tired.

"Hey," I greeted trying to sound calm.

"My Lyra, Daddy missed you," Dad said.

"I missed you too, Dad."

"I'm sorry if I don't have time to call you, minsan kasi walang signal dito sa barko. But, I always asked your Aunt Sally through email about your whereabouts."

What he said made me smile, but I felt like I'm a very bad daughter for thinking na nakalimutan na ako ni Daddy when in fact he always ask Aunt Sally about me naman pala.

"You look tired, Dad."

"Busy kasi sa work. How are you? How's your counseling?"

"Don't worry about me, ayos lang po ako. My counseling is going well naman, I'm starting to like my psychiatrist."

I'm really starting to like her, specially that she was the one who pushed me to call you right now. If not for her, siguro hanggang ngayon mag-iisip pa rin ako na wala ka ng pake sa 'kin.

"Buti naman, just always stay at home ok? Always remember Lyra, sa bahay at sa coffeeshop ka lang p'wedeng pumunta."

I slowly nodded. "Ok, po."

I feel so bad for lying, my Dad doesn't know about me going out with my friends.

"As much as I want to have long conversation with you, I really need to go back to work na. Keep safe always, anak. Daddy loves you."

"I love you too, Dad."

I ended the call.

After that I found myself lying on my bed, crying and crying and crying. I'm crying because of both sadness and happiness. Happiness because nakausap ko na ulit si Dad, and sadness because I missed him so much. Habang nagvi-video call kami kanina gusto ko s'yang yakapin, but I just can't do that. I badly wanted to hug my Dad and tell him how I missed him, like so so much.

Honestly, I don't understand myself anymore. When I'm with Gumdrops, I forget about all my problems. But, when I'm just me being me—being Lyra, that's the time sadness would embrace me, parang pinapaalala palagi sa 'kin kung ga'no ka miserable ang buhay ko.

Surely, people would say that I'm lucky because I live in a big house, I got everything I want, but they don't know that there's only one thing I really wished for—to live in a peaceful home with my Mom and Dad, at malabong mangyari 'yon.

I stared at the mirror. And I can see a girl with a phobia, a girl who have some issued with herself, a girl who seeks for genuine happiness, a girl who missed the warm hugs of his Mom and Dad.

"You'll be the happiest girl soon," I whispered to myself.