Young//The Walking Dead

32

Jess POV

The lake goes up in flames and draws the walker to it. "How the?" I mumble. "We need to find out who did that." Rick says to me and Michonne. We just nod before a voice stops us. "No need, were right here." I turn and see everyone that was missing. Sasha, Abraham, Glenn, Enid, Daryl. I drop my knife and everyone stares at me but Daryl doesnt move his gaze off me as the ithers look at him. I run to him and wrap myself around him. He hugs back tighter then ever before. Not caring about the walker guts on me. "Im sorry Dad. Im so so sorry. I didnt mean too." I cry out he just rubs my back and kisses my head. He hadnt even known what happened but I was sorry for all of it. We let go of each other but I keep hold of his hand as we walk towards the fire. "Carl!" I say suddenly and letting go of Daryls hand to run back through the walkers. I find the Infirmary and his room. I walk in and see him asleep. I sit in the chair next to him and rest my head on the bed. "I love you." I say before I pass out.

I wake up to my hair getting played with. I rub my eyes and see Carl with Judith smiling. "You were out for 2 days." Carl says. "What how?" I ask. "Dehydration. You have an IV too." Carl says smiling at me. "Why did Ron do that?" I ask lifting the bandage to see an empty eye socket filled with dried blood and mud. Carl shrugs and frowns as I make a disgusted face. "I hate it too." He whispers. "No its just not cleaned properly. But if we were to do that we'll have to knock you out." I giggle a bit. He smiles again. "It looks badass." I say. "Badass." Judith repeats. Yes shes 3 and her first word is badass. "Was that?" I ask Carl and he nods. I take Judith out if his hands and hug her. "You're amazing baby girl." I say kissing her forehead and she smiles and claps at me. "Lil asskicker." I mumble and Carl nods. We talk for a but about what happened and then I see it get dark. I lean over to Carl and put my hand on his cheek. He leans into it. I place a kiss on his forehead before taking Judith back home. "I love you too." He says before I shut the door, I giggle to myself and walk out onto the street.

I get back home and everyones in one house again. "That was a weird day." I say walking in with Judith. "Where were you?" Daryl asks. "Who took Judith to Carl?" I ask. "Gabriel did." Rick says pointing to him. "Did he not mention that ive been asleep for 2 days next to Carl. Did any of you check up on him?" I ask and they all frown looking to the floor. "There was alot of bodies to burn, and a lake to get clean which still isnt done." Maggie explains. I hand Judith over to Carol. "Im going to bed." I say and walk upstairs. Our house was one of a few that didnt get touched by the walkers. I get changed and lay in bed for a while. I hear the door open and someone lays down on the bed next to me. "Im sorry." The familiar voice says. "I told them not to check on me." Carl explains. I turn and face him. "Do they know what I did?" I ask and he nods. I groan and lay on my stomach. "Your dad didnt like it." Carl says. "Of course he didnt. But at that moment in time, I lost all sense of care." I explain. He just hums and rubs my back. "I never knew you were depressed." Carl speakd up. I huff and groan as I stand. "Always have been." I ssid walking out of the room.

I go downstairs snd see everyone in sleeping bags. I get a bottle of water and sit in the kitchen. I hear a guns safety turn on or off. "Just me Rick." I say taking another swig of water. Rick comes into the kitchen. "Whyd you do that?" He asks. "Nothing to live for anyway. No ones gonna best this world. If Judith reaches the age of 6 ill be surprised." I explain. Rick just nods like he understands. "Dad will be the last man standing. Judith will end up by his side." I say. "Ill be gone and Judith will take my place and Dad will take yours." I say holding back tears. "Since when have you felt like this. Depressed." Rick asks. "Since tbe beginning of my life." I say weakly smiling at him. "Youve been like this for 15 years." Rick asks. "Im 16 now. But yeah." I say pointing to the calender. "You dont always act like it though?" He asks. "It comes and goes in waves. It always does." I explain. "We cant do anything about it?" He asks and I shake my head. "One day ill break. One day. That will be the day I die." I say finishing the water. "And if im not dead then. Dad better keep and eye on me." I say putting the bottle in the bin. "But hes not always there, you know that." Rick starts. "I know. Itll be easier if he didnt watch." I say frowning. "Do you want to die?" Rick asks. I shske my head. "Not particularly by my own hand, or the hands of a walker. I wanna chose how I die. Just like Beth did. She died for this family. Im gonna end up doing that too. We all are." I say standing up and walking up the stairs. "Some speech." I hear someone say and I turn and see Daryl in the hall way. My breath hitches. "Yeah thanks." I say and continue walking to the room. "Jess." Daryl says. "What." I whisper. "Im sorry you feel like that." He says. "Everyone is." I say turning my back again. I get stopped as he hugs me. I feel my shoulder get wet, he hasnt cried since Beths death. I was supposed to be the little her. Hes crying because of me. I did this.