"I'm Here For You." Malec Au

chapter 27

Alec POV
The next morning i woke up early, my dreams were haunted with nightmares, lots of them. Max was still sleeping peacefully so i got out of bed silently trying not to wake Max up.

Once out of bed I made my way downstairs no one was downstairs yet so i made some coffee that slowly started to brew into the pot. I send a text to Ty, call me in the evening please i need to talk to you. I send and i put my phone down, waiting for the coffee to finish. I put my head in my hands, my hand plams rubbing my forehead to try and rub the headache away. I just felt so lost. Then i felt a warm and comforting hand my shoulder. I looked up to the person, mom. "Morning." I said and she gave me a small smile. "Good morning." She said back. She then walked to the counter and ruffled through a cabinet getting out a jar of medicines, she put them on the table in front of me, it was lithium. She also grabbed both of us a cup of coffee and sat down. "I realised because you didn't pack an overnight bag that you didn't take your pills with you." Maryse said as i took one of the pills and i downed it with coffee. "Thanks." I said.

A few minutes later a really tired Clary followed by a wide awake Jace came downstairs. Clary went straight for the coffee, pouring for both her and Jace a cup. "Good morning!" Jace chirped. "Please be quiet." Clary whispered. She really looked tired, and i thought it was a good idea to give her some time to wake up.

Then Simon, Izzy and Max came downstairs. They all looked like how i felt tired and miserable.
"Morning." They said in unison.
Izzy and Simon helped themselve to coffee and Max sat down yawning.
"So i searched it online yesterday, visiting hours in the hospital where Magnus is laying in, is from 10am till 4pm." Izzy said as she sat down sipping her coffee. "Okay then we'll go after breakfast." Maryse said as she checked the time. 9am. "Anyone hungry?" Maryse asked looking at me specificly as i didn't eat yesterday evening. I shook my head. "Just coffee for me." I said. She frowned a little but quickly changed it too a soft smile. "Of course." She with a smile. I saw Izzy and Jace quickly glance at each other worry in their eyes. "Iz, Jace I'm fine." I said as i ran my hand through my messy hair. They both sighed but accepted it. Mom made eggs for everyone.

"I'm sorry, excuse me." I said as I stood up, I wanted to be alone for a while before we went to Magnus. I made my way up to my room. All kinds of thoughts were running through my head, what if Magnus doesn't want to be with me anymore? What if Magnus died while we were home? What if he's never gonna be okay again? Forever a reminder that his boyfriend's dad stabbed him. I went to my bathroom attached to my room and locked the door. I gotta clear my head i thought to myself. I grabbed a small knife from the cupboard and i looked into the mirror, i looked and felt like a mess. I grabbed the knife tighter in my hand. Then i realised something, i can't do this, Magnus will be upset if I do, everyone will be upset. I started to cry softly, not knowing what to do. I felt completely lost when Magnus wasn't by my side.
I threw the knife to the ground and it slid to the corner of the bathroom where i left it as i sat down on the floor hugging my knees to my chest. I need him, I love him, I thought as i tried to wipe away the tears that kept falling from my eyes.

Once i calmed down i splashed water into my face, it was so obvious i cried my eyes were red and puffy but i couldn't care much if they saw it. I did splash some more water into my face.
I brushed my teeth and tried to tame my hair to not make it look like i just rolled out of bed. When i came back into my room Izzy was sitting on my bed. She glanced at my forearms and sighed relieved. "I thought you were gonna do it again." Izzy said softly. I sighed and sat down next to her our shoulders brushing past each other. "I thought about doing it." I told her honestly, there was no point in lying, she already knew why i went upstairs in the first place. "But then I thought about Magnus, you and rest of our family, i just couldn't do it." I said, she smiled a little. "I'm proud of you Alec." She said and she put an arm around my shoulder pulling me down in a side hug. "And he's gonna be okay, you heard the nurse." Izzy said. "Yeah, but i just can't help to overthink things." I told her with a small laugh. "I know." She said. "Now get dressed we're gonna leave soon." She said with a smile as she stood up and walked out of my room. I stood up and opened the closet. I left some clothes here for emergency, things like these. I put on the black jeans and long sleeved shirt and i made my way downstairs.
Only Jace was downstairs fully dressed in black jeans, white shirt, black leather jacket and combat boots. He was leaning against the wall in the hallway close to the stairs. "Hey." I said and i leaned against the wall next to him. "Hey Alec." He said. "You okay?" He asked, I shrugged. "It's just a lot to process." I said and he made an agreeing noise and silence for over us, it wasn't uncomfortable, it was never uncomfortable between us he was my best friend and brother. After a while Clary and Izzy came downstairs, followed by Max and Simon, who were talking about anime, and Mom. It was 10:30am so we made our way outside getting into the cars.