In my blood - Shawn Mendes
Shawn's POV
May/June 2018
"Are you ok?", Niall asked when we were done with the interviews at the Radio 1's Big Weekend in Swansea. I had been putting my best face and acting like everything was alright, but it had been a long day and I couldn't even try to pull it together anymore. I was tired and my head was hurting.
"Yeah, just tired..."
"Too tired? Or are you up for some drinks at the hotel bar?"
"I don't know", I said rubbing my chin but thought about it better. "OK, let's go".
"That's my man", Niall said patting my back.
It was always great when I was in places that I was legally allowed to drink and I didn't have to worry about what people could think of me. We both asked for whiskey and coke and Niall sighed loudly after taking a sip.
"Long day, huh?", he said.
"The longest... long days, actually", I said.
"What it is, mate? You look like you need a shoulder to cry on", he chuckled.
"Yeah, right", I said swirling the dark amber liquid inside my glass.
"It is about a girl, isn't it?", he asked. "Uh, those are worst problems".
"It's stupid, really", I said trying to smile but it didn't actually worked.
"Who is it? Do I know her?", he asked and I looked at him. "Ah, right... Camila".
"I'm such a loser", I said laughing at myself.
"Don't beat yourself up for this. We can't control who we fall for, right?"
"I guess".
"What happened this time?"
"I told her..."
"You did?", he opened his eyes wide.
"Well, I sent her the album before it was released and she listened to the songs, so..."
"I see. What did she say?"
"Nothing. She just told me the album was amazing and when we saw each other a few days ago, I talked and she didn't say anything. She's dating now, so there's not much I can do".
"Sorry, man".
"Whatever..."
"Maybe this is for the best, you know? Maybe it's just not the time".
I nodded and we both drank. We changed our topic of conversation towards soccer, or football; same thing, Niall didn't like when I called it soccer, and my mood changed a bit. We didn't always have the chance to spend time together, so I didn't want to ruin it with my messy love life. He always knew I had a thing for Camila, even though and I never told him explicitly. I guess it was written all over my face. He said there was something about how my face lightened up when I talked about her. I hated that, because I had no idea how to control it.
...
"This is fucking sick, Hailey", I said taking a sip of my drink and sitting on the couch.
"Is that so, Shawn?", she asked standing in front of me with her hand on her hip.
"Yes! Can't you see it? This is stupid, I don't know what you're doing", I said trying to push some common sense into her.
She walked around the room, pacing and bitting her nails while I stared at her from my seat. I was disappointed, mad and upset. In my mind, what she was doing was insane. She wasn't thinking clearly, she was jumping into something she obviously craved but wasn't ready for. I knew that.
