Save Myself- Ed Sheeran
Camila's POV
End of 2018
Matthew was waiting for me with my phone on his hand when I stepped outside the bathroom.
"What is it?", I asked.
"The kid was calling", he said.
"What kid?"
"Your friend, Shawn".
I frowned and took the phone from his hand. I didn't like when he called him that, he didn't even know Shawn to act petty around him. He had seen some old articles talking about dating rumors between Shawn and I and had inevitably heard his songs, but I never said anything about it or gave him reasons to worry about my friendship with Shawn. He did though and the situation was getting on my nerves.
I walked outside to call him back, curious about why he had called me in the first place.
"I have a proposal for you", he said after we said hi and I asked him what was going on.
"Ok... what is it?"
"I got an offer to work on duet song and I want you to do it with me". His voice sounded nervous and hesitant.
"A duet?", I said. "What's the song about?"
"Uh... a complicated romance. It has some latin vibes so it would sound great with you in it".
"Have you heard it?"
"Yes, just a demo of the chorus, it sounds really good. What do you say?"
"Well... you'll have to let me think about it. I'm still in the middle of touring and just getting ready to start working on my next album".
"Yeah, yeah, of course. Take your time".
"Thank you".
"Camila?"
"Yes?"
"I think this could be really fun, please think about it", he said slowly. The tone of his voice caused some reaction in my body, he sounded so sure, so matured.
"I will, Shawn".
"Ok".
"Bye, take care".
"You too, bye".
I turned around to see Matthew looking at me from inside the house, I walked back in with my chin up.
"What did he want?"
"It was a work call", I told him. "A new project".
"Sure", he said between his teeth but I decided to ignore it. I wasn't feeding his insecurity.
I wanted to ignore it, but when I laid in bed considering Shawn's offer, I had to count my boyfriend's reaction as con in my pros and cons list. What this a smart move? I wasn't all sure about working with Shawn again, not because it was him, but because I was still trying to work on my sound for the new album. I was afraid this would mess up with my vision. Plus, we had already collabed a couple of years ago and everyone knew about it, maybe we should look for other people to work with.
I turned around frustrated. Lately I had been having problems to sleep, there was too much noise in my head and I didn't know how to control it or make it go away.
I told my mom and my team about the song and they didn't seem to have problems with it outside the logistic of how to work it out. Still, I couldn't wrap my head and heart around it. It was like if something was keeping me from jumping all in with this project. What was I afraid of? I had no idea, but I was... afraid. It was a constant feeling in my chest by now and a toxic circle of obsessing over it and then getting too overwhelmed thinking about it.
