Out of the woods - Taylor Swift
Camila's POV
May 2017
The holiday season was definitely not what I had in mind weeks before. Even when I had planned to make my departure from the group by New Year, it did not happen the way I had thought of. It was a complicated and distressing situation that drained me inside for quite some time. It was the fact that control was taken out of my hands and something happened without me being on top of it that provoked episodes of anxiety. I had some very low weeks, but my family made sure to be right by my side cheering me up.
I didn't have much time to whine about it anyways because quickly some solo projects that I had pushed aside began to take form and more artists were calling to collaborate with me. That lifted up my spirit and my team was thrilled with the response so I had no choice but to shake off all the negativity and focus my mind and heart on finally doing music the I way I wanted to.
The first months were crazy, because I had a lot going on and I moved constantly. I had interviews, performances, shows and a lot of studio time. I was so busy with my career that I couldn't pay attention to anything else. The great part was that all my work was paying off.
When it's was my time to release something on my own, I had a bunch of songs close to my heart but I was adviced Crying In The Club was a good option to test the waters. It was a great song with a fun beat, but not my first choice. Still, I trusted my team and went for it. Shooting the video made it more lovable for me because I was able to add I Have Questions to it.
Shawn's notification lightened up my world immensily when I saw it the day of the released. He tweeted from another part of the world, in another time zone and after months of not seeing each other or talked to each other. We we're both extremely busy with our careers, which was awesome, but I missed him like crazy.
I replied to him on twitter and then texted him personally. I assumed he was too caught up with his tour and shows because I went to sleep without a reply. Still, I was extremely grateful with his support. He was always there for me, like he said he would.
The day of the Billboard Music Awards I woke up with a knot in my stomach. All inside of me was tight and terrified, but I had dreamed of a moment like this for years so I did what I was taught to do in this moment and turned all the anxiety and nervous energy into my power. Just minutes before leaving my place to go to the venue I recieved the text I needed.
[S: You'll do it amazing tonight. Have fun and enjoy it. I wish I was there to cheer for you. Love you, Camilita]
I held my phone closed to my heart after thanking him and then gave it to one of my assistants.
Just 5 seconds before it was my turn to take over the stage I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I got this, I told myself. This was my moment, what I always wanted. I knew the song, it was mine; I knew the choreo, I practiced nonstop. It was going to be alright.
...
[S: I just saw the performance on youtube, I couldn't seen it ealier. It was great, I'm so proud]
Days after the awards show he texted me. Singing my debut single for the first time was for sure a new experience and I enjoyed every part of it. I was extremely nervous but I received very good critics from the people I cared the most so that made me happy.
[C: Thank you so much. I was freaking out the whole time but I guess it went well]
[S: You're doing amazing solo eh? I'm so happy]
[C: Thank you so much Shawnie boy]
[S: You're welcome Camilita]
[C: How's tour? How's Europe?]
