Jealous - Labrinth
Shawn's POV
April 2018
The album was practically done and we were ready to start working on the promo. I was ready, I was so ready. I was in love with this album and I was proud of the way my heart was encrypted on every lyric. But as much as I enjoyed it I was also extremely anxious about the response. The single, In My Blood, was a song I had written from the bottom of my heart, with raw emotions running through it. It was sad but there was also hope in it and I wished people could listen to it and relate to it. I wanted more than anything to just help people by telling them I had gone through the same thing, that they weren't alone and that I was there for them as well.
When the song was out I was overwhelmed with the positive reactions. Suddenly, all the panic I went through just hours before it was released didn't matter anymore. I breathed and understood that I also weren't alone. I had put myself through so much pressure and stress, I still did, but this gave me courage to move on and be better to and with myself.
I had beaten myself for mistakes and lost opportunities in the past, for being too immature and hesitant but it was time to let go. Maybe it was just not meant to be and I should start wrapping my head around it. Easier said than done though, because most of the songs on my album reminded me of her.
Camila and I had once again lost a bit of contact but this time it was different. It wasn't only because we were busy with our own careers, her being extremely busy with her upcoming tour, but I was also keeping my distance now that I knew she wasn't alone. I didn't know how to act and it was weird. I didn't feel this way when she was with Austin years ago, maybe because I knew he wasn't a real threat and their relationship couldn't even be called that, but now it was indeed different. There were pictures of her and her boyfriend around and even when she hadn't said anything about it to the press, I knew it was real, she had told me herself. I had no reasons to, but I felt uncomfortable reaching out to her and the more I thought about it the more embarrassed I also felt. Part of me thought that it would be disrespectful but why? Maybe she hadn't even talked about us to him, maybe I wasn't even in the picture. Either way, I preferred to stay out of their lane.
That until she contacted me. She texted one night and asked me if I was going to be in Toronto on a certain date, I said yes and that was when she invited me to her concert. I couldn't say no, there was no way I was going to say no to her, ever... So I said yes and took a deep breath.
I invited Aaliyah to come with me, she didn't think anything of it and agreed right away. After all, she also grew knowing Camila and was excited for this new chapter of her.
She was with her dancers when Aaliyah and I arrived so I preferred to wait for the end of the concert to go to her. She looked focus and prepared but when she stepped on the stage she completely blew my mind. I had seen her perform many times but there was something about being only her on the stage, in front of her own fans, that made a world of a difference. The way she moved, the way she danced, the way she closed her eyes when reaching certain notes... all of her. Damn, her boyfriend was the luckiest guy.
"She's so good", Aaliyah said with a smile, waving her hands to the beat of the ballad.
When All these years started my heart ached. I was still confused about who she was referring to and I couldn't bring myself to ask her, so I just stood there overthinking. Sinu, that was standing next to me, squeezed my arm and smiled when I looked at her. I didn't know if that meant something in particular but I smiled back.
Time flew by faster than ever because I was so entertained looking at her glowing and completely eating the stage. I was beyond proud of her and I had no words to describe how happy her success made me.
