It's Not Easy

Why am I here?

I spent almost two weeks thinking of a way to contact Stevie. I realized that I didn't even know her number or where she lives now. That just made me sad. I called Christine first to get the information I needed to talk to Stevie. She wasn't reluctant about meeting me at all, which is good I suppose. Our call didn't last long, just enough for me to find out she's doing fine and as to where I could meet her. She right away told me, she wouldn't be coming to my house. 

There's a cafe only a few minutes away from her new place, that's where we're seeing each other. She said 2pm, still twenty minutes to wait, but I was eager, maybe too eager to see her, and came early. I can't stop thinking about meeting Stevie after so long. I know she's going to be pretty, with the most beautiful brown eyes and those kissable lips... And that will only make me love her more.

I keep my eyes on the parking lot, wondering if she's driving herself or maybe her assistant will bring her here. A car stops right in front of the cafe and I can't look away, when she leans over to kiss a man. I shouldn't feel anything, jealousy being the very last thing on the list, but I do. And when she gets out of the car and walks the short distance to the door, I think that I was right, she hasn't changed one single bit. I'm beginning to think this was a horrible idea.

Our eyes lock immediately and I see a hint of a smile on her lips, which makes me feel relieved. She looks casual, jeans and an off shoulder sweater, I missed seeing her like this. She approaches the table where I'm sitting and I'm not sure how to greet her. Things have never been so uneasy between us. Of course, I want nothing more than to give her a hug and a kiss, but that's not up to me.

"Hey."

"Hi." Maybe I wasn't exaclty right, her hair is longer.

"You can give me a hug, you know... It's been a long time since the last we've seen each other."

I stand in front of her and put my arms around her, regretting it instantly. I can't ignore the fact her stomach isn't exactly flat... "Congratulations."

"Thank you." She looks away and takes a seat, I do too.

"You want anything? I can go get it for you."

"Lindsey, I'm pregnant, not sick." Her voice sounds light, she's not being overly serious and that somehow is making me frustrated.

"For how long?" 

"Four months."

"Oh..." I can't help but think she wasn't grieving too much about the ending of our marriage. "Was it the father you were in a car with?" I try not to sound too angry or upset, she doesn't even have to explain herself to me.

"Yes, his name is Adam."

"He seems young."

"Younger."

"You two have been together long?"

She sighs before answering, I'm annoying her, but I want to know. "I wasn't cheating on you with him, don't worry. Anyway, are we here to discuss my personal life or... I'm not even sure why am I here?"

"Right, sorry." I ask for a refill before I can continue. "I was trying to record again, but I've been failing terribly. I met up with Mick, Chris and John a couple of weeks ago. We talked about possibly getting back together as a band."

"For what exactly? An album?"

"I don't know, maybe an album or a tour, to see how it goes with us, if we can still work together. But the guys were clear, they're in if you are, they're not doing any of this without you."

She doesn't say anything for a moment, looking out the window then at me. "I can't tour, Lindsey."

"I know that now."

"The preparation will take a month or two, then I could go on the road for not longer than a month or so."

"I get it, Stevie. Really, I understand. This was just a thought and it's not going to happen, at least not now."

"I didn't say we couldn't go into a recording studio." She adds and I'm slightly surprised.

"You'd want to do it?"

"Not an entire eleven or twelve song album, no. But and EP, sure. We can't be certain we'd survive recording together again in the first place, so this could be like a test, it could be good."

"I honestly didn't think you'd agree."

"I can't do anything else besides music, Lindsey. I couldn't plan a tour for myself, recording with you, Mick, Chris and John would be much more fun than sitting around all day."

"Right, okay. Yeah, that sounds like something we could do."

"But you can't annoy me, a baby is growing inside me. I have to take care of her."

Her... We've always wanted to be parents to a little girl. I don't let myself dwell on it too long and laugh at what she said lightly, she's very easy going and I'm glad. She's softened a lot. "I promise. So, I can call the others and tell them we're really doing this?"

"Yes, you may."

"Good, I'm glad."

"Lindsey, we're not strangers and we don't have to be enemies. True, we didn't work out as a married couple, but we were pretty good friends, when we wanted to. This doesn't have to change."

"I know and I'm happy you're even here right now, just that it's a lot to take in." I shrug, finishing the last of my coffee. "I wasn't sure how to talk to you, especially when I found out you're with somebody and having the man's baby."

"We got divorced."

"You're right, I know I don't get to be like this, but..." I stop myself from saying anything else, this is not the right way to start things off. "You know what? Let's not get into that. The important thing is Fleetwood Mac are doing something new and exciting."

"That's the attitude I would like to stay going forward."

"I'll talk to the other three and let you know when we can start."

"Okay, I'll be waiting." She smiles, looking as beautiful as ever.

"Are you waiting to be picked up or..."

"No, Adam's in the car, waiting for me."

"Oh, okay."

She stands up and puts a hand on my shoulder on her way out. "Remember, you swore to me you won't be an ass."

"I won't." And I mean it. I also look if she's wearing any kind of ring... "See you."

"Yeah, you too. Bye, Linds." And she's walks away. 

This was a horrible idea.