It's Not Easy

Look at me, please

It's just after six in the morning, but I feel Stevie getting up already. I expect her to go to the bathroom, but she opens and then closes the door of our bedroom carefully. It couldn't have been Sara. Our girl turned one just a week ago and Stevie's parents took her to let us have some time on our own. Needless to say Stevie was very reluctant, if it weren't her mother, nobody would be able to take Sara away. I turn from one side to the other, but eventually give up and go downstairs. She's looking at our rose garden through the window, I do my best not to startle her, approaching from behind and I put my hands over hers that are comfortably resting on her stomach, she's showing already and I couldn't be happier to have a reminder she's carrying our baby.

“Morning.” 

"Morning." I say back, kissing her cheek. "Why are you up so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Are you feeling alright?”

I know she's rolling her eyes. “Linds, that’s been your question to everything lately.”

“I care about your well being.” I simply shrug and go to make her a cup of tea and coffee for myself. “Do you mind?” She shakes her head. “But seriously, how are you doing?”

“Okay, actually. I couldn’t stop throwing up while I was carrying Sara. This time it feels so different.”

I know she notices my faint smile. “You think it might be a boy?”

“Does it make me a bad mother that I really wish to have another girl?”

“It does not, Steph, not at all.”

“I really do, Linds, I want to have two pretty little girls, so I can dress them up and curl their hair, although, knowing who’s the father, this one would most likely have curls right away.”

“I get it, babe, I know what you mean and it doesn't make me love you any less."

“I’m not going to love you very much in about five months, but I do love you a lot most of the time.”

“Good to know.” I laugh and get up to put our empty mugs into the sink.

“What are your plans for today?”

“Nothing really, I may go down to the studio for some time. Why?”

“I have a doctor’s appointment. I’d like it if you take me.”

“I’ll take you.” I wink and she’s probably saying that I'm such a teeanger sometimes in her head.

“Right, you’ve taken me enough.” She puts her hand on her stomach.

“When?”

“Twelve something.”

“Alright, I’ll be ready and waiting by then.” I kiss her temple and leave.

~

Once we arrived at the hospital, we're told to take a seat in the waiting room and also that Dr. Anderson isn't here today, so another doctor will see us. I see some familiar faces of women from the previous times we've come. They‘re all so much younger than Stevie, they must think we're mental!

We get called in after a few minutes. "You must be Stephanie, I'm Dr. Miller.“

"Nice to meet you, this is my husband Lindsey.“ We exchange a nod and sit down.

"So, how are things?“

"I don‘t even feel pregnant if i‘m honest. It's all going really good.“

"Is that so? Well, then go lie down and we‘ll have some basic examination.“

It doesn‘t take long for Dr. Miller to check on Stevie. As she takes off her medical gloves, Stevie sits up and waits for what she has to say.