It's Not Easy

You don't trust me?

"Linds?"

"In here!" I let Stevie know I'm in our bedroom. She appears in the doorway a minute later, carrying Layla on her hip. I can't believe she's almost two and a half. "What do my girls want?" I take our daughter and Stevie crosses her arms, looking everywhere, but her eyes won't settle on mine. "Steph?"

"Can we talk?"

"You're not pregnant, are you?"

"Be serious, Lindsey." She doesn't laugh. 

We sit down on the bed. "Well, talk?"

"I was thinking..." 

"I don't think I'll like what you're about to say much."

"No, you won't."

"I think I know where you're going with this." I sigh, letting Layla to jump on our bed, watching closely she doesn't fall. "You want to tour, don't you?"

"I do."

"And by saying you were thinking about it, you mean..."

"That I've made some calls."

"Of course you have."

"I won't be gone for long, starting from second half of October and I'll be home before the holidays."

"Where?"

"Just the states."

"I can't forbid you from going, Stevie."

"I know and I wanted to discuss this with you because I wouldn't be touring by myself."

"Is that so? Who will be your co-headliner?"

"Don."

"Henley?!"

"Yes. I understand your reaction, Lindsey, but really, it's just a tour."

"With your ex!" 

"Lower your voice, please." 

I look over at Layla then back at Stevie. "I don't think you need me to tell you I don't support this idea."

"You don't trust me?"

"To be honest, around one of your ex boyfriends, no, I don't."

"I can't believe you are still this jealous."

"Well, you were with the man, maybe some old feelings will resurface."

"I've married you twice and I have three kids with you, Lindsey. Do you really think once I see Don, I will throw myself at him?"

"I know that no matter what I tell you, you will do this anyway. So, just know that I don't support this, I don't like this, I don't feel comfortable with you being around that man."

"Please, tell me you're kidding me right now?"

"I'm being very serious, Stevie. You want to perform, fine. But you want to go on a two month tour with Don Henley? I'm sorry, I can't be okay with this."

"We're arguing about this? I can't believe you're this insecure about our relationship after so many years, you think I would cheat on you!"

"Then tell me, why him?"

"Because why not? I didn't think it would be such a big deal!"

"Who called who?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, was it you or him that picked up the phone first?"

"At first, I contacted Chris Isaak, but he can't do it."

"So, it was you."

She still hesitates to admit it. "Yes, I called Don, Lindsey."

"What made you do that?"

"Oh my god, Lindsey! I don't know! He's a great artist, besides, we have a song together that people love, we could actually play it live together, they know our history, I thought this idea might interest the fans."

"The song that people love? Stevie, it's you and him singing how much the two of you loved each other!"

"As if I ever loved anyone but you." Layla goes to sit on Stevie's lap, she's a very sensitive child. Whenever someone raises their voice, she immediately searches for her mother.

"You're Stevie Nicks. Anyone would love to go on tour with you."

"Maybe I don't want to go on tour with just anybody."

"Oh, so you chose Don, because you wanted to spend two months on the road with him?"

"For god's sake! Would you stop accusing me?"

"But I don't understand this decision you've made, I can't help but be suspicious." She gets up and leaves the room, taking Layla with her. "Stevie, wait!"

"No! Stop right there, don't follow me, don't speak to me." 

~

I had to get out of the house, good thing we decided to have that fight just before I had to pick up Sara and Alex from school, I was free to leave. But I also had some time to be by myself. I don't think I should have acted the way I did, but Stevie being alone with someone she's dated before, doesn't sit very well with me.

It's around the time I usually go to bed, but I'm not sure where I'm sleeping tonight. I try my luck and go to the bedroom and start undressing, she doesn't say anything, already under the covers, her journal in hand. 

I get closer, our shoulders touching. "Don't touch me." I exhale deeply and try again, but she repeats the same thing.

"Don't be like this, please."

"Like what? An ass, just like you were?"

"I'm sorry for earlier."

"Mhm..." She mumbles, shielding her journal from me.

"No, I am. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"What made you change your mind?"

"I tried to look at it from your point of you, you're right. You and Don sharing a stage is going to be exciting for people."

"But you still don't trust me."

"I do, but it's hard, try and understand me too, Steph."

"We've been married for years and years, Lindsey. What makes you think I would give what we share up? I love you and our kids, I love my family. He's just a friend and you know it."

“I can’t lose you. Stevie… I love you so damn much. I’m getting old, nobody would ever love me again if you left me.” I joke, but I doubt she finds it funny.

"I am not leaving you! Linds, I'm going on tour..." She takes off her glasses and tosses them on the nightsand along with the journal.

I wrap my arm around her back and instead of pulling away, Stevie cuddles closer to me. I kiss the top of her head and stroke her hair. “You are just as beautiful as ever, Stephanie, and you’ll always be. If I were Don, I would definitely try to get in your pants.”

"You're thinking with the wrong head." She's softened a little from before.

"You’re my life, Steph.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.” I repeat. “Now, how about some sleep?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

We kiss and she turns off the bedside lamp. I'll do my best to stop thinking about it. For now...