It's Not Easy

Best gift in life

It's almost Stevie's due date, which is November 12. The doctor ordered her to stay in bed as much as possible, she's a stubborn one, but even she obeys when it comes to Sara. We've stopped calling her our baby almost right away since Stevie said that's what we're naming our daughter. I feel so bad for Stevie, I wish I could help, but there's no way for me to really. Sara has been very active lately, not letting her mother sleep much. I wish I could stay up with them late, but I usually give up not long into the night.

She takes my hand, which I've been caressing her belly with for the past hour and faces me. "Good thing those stretch marks didn't get too out of hand."

"I don't think they're bad at all."

“Actually yeah, I think these are the same ones from when I piled on the weight before. I wanted to talk to you about the fact my body will be different you know…”

“We’re not going to talk about this again, Stevie.”

“But I won’t be back to my figure before the pregnancy right away.”

“And who the hell cares? I know I don’t! I told you already, that’s just more to love and I think you look amazing right now. I swear, you’ve never been more beautiful to me.”

“Sweet fucker.” And she's started cursing so much lately!

“I mean it, Steph.”

“I know you do, Linds. Anyway… This one is being calm tonight, I think I’ll try to get some sleep.”

“Sure, I’ll watch some TV for a bit and do the same.”

“Night.”

“Night, angel.”

She pulls the covers up to her neck and turns off the bedside lamp. The only light in the room is from the TV and I know it's annoying the crap out of her, but she says she can’t be a bitch when I'm so amazing to her.

 ~

I open my eyes some time later to check on my girls, Stevie's been going to the bathroom every twenty minutes or so. The clock reads just past two in the morning. I see her sitting on the edge of the bed, there's a damp spot where she was lying just seconds ago. I'm suddenly very awake.

"Is it time?!"

She nods. "I think so, yes."

"But... Isn't it too early? You still have a week to go!"

"I think you should be calming me down, Lindsey! Stop freaking out for god's sake! This baby is ready to get out!”

“What do we do?” I feel like such a complete idiot right now.

She slaps me gently on both cheeks. “First of all, you need to wake up properly and get dressed. I’ll do the same and I’ll call Dr. Anderson and inform we’re coming.”

“Okay, okay I can do that.” I'm more nervous than she is for sure. “How come are you so calm?”

“Believe me, I’m not!” She returns from the closet and throws at me some clean clothes and tosses her own on the bed. “I have to get cleaned up.”

“You need me anything else to do?” I ask, almost dressed already.

“Take the beg for the hospital and wait for me in the car, I’ll be right there.”

“Right.” I pull a sweater over my head and reach for the beg. “Love you!” I say running out the door.

~ 

As soon as we arrived at the hospital we were met by a group of nurses and doctors and whoever else. They rushed Stevie to a room and I ran after them. The doctor kept checking on her every few minutes, while I've been holding her hand, feeling utterly useless.

“Will daddy be here?” Dr. Anderson asks me after having another look at Stevie.

“I… yes, yes I’ll be right here.” I nod, grasping her hand tightly in mine.

“Good, because it’s really time now.”

“What? No! I’m not ready!” Stevie protests and I would laugh, but I don't want to risk my life.

The doctor smiles. “Well, maybe not you, Stephanie, but your baby is.”

“Don’t you dare fucking leave my side.” She jabs a finger at me and I'm honestly terrified of her right now. 

 ~

The birth of Sara Buckingham (yes, Buckingham) took eight hours and forty three minutes. To say Stevie was exhausted is an understatement, she fell asleep right after.

The sunlight of a beautiful morning of November 6th wakes her up. She blinks her eyes to get used to the light and looks at me, with a pink bundle in my arms and smiles. She clears her throat and speak up, her voice husky. “I think you’ve had enough of her.”

I lift my eyes up to look at her with a grin on my face. “I will never get enough of her, Steph.”

“Give her here.” She sits up and gets comfortable in the hospital bed. I hand her our beautiful baby daughter and I feel my eyes welling up. “Oh my god…”

“I know right?” I pull up a chair and sit down. “Isn’t she the prettiest girl ever?”

“She really is.” She agrees and runs the back of her finger across her soft cheek. “I wish she looked a little more like me though...”

I laugh. “Well, let’s hope she didn't inherit your attitude.” She stares at me with a blank expression on her face. “Just kidding.”

“You better.”

“Those lips are unmistakably yours, the corners turned downwards.”

“So, our baby will forever look sad then? How is that a good thing?”

“Stevie, you have the most beautiful smile ever, so will Sara. Who knows, maybe she’ll be the one who takes over your title as the Queen of Rock and Roll.”

“Well, with such talented parents…” 

“I hope we don’t mess her up.” I stroke Sara’s hair and it’s so sweet to watch Stevie with our tiny girl.

“We won’t baby, we won’t. She comes first always.”

“Thank you for giving me the best gift in life.” I reach up to kiss her. “I love you more than you know.”

“Love you too, Lindsey, always.”

All I can do is stare at our daughter, such a pretty sight. I’ve never imagined it was possible to feel love this huge for something or someone, but I do. I will do anything it takes me to protect Sara from the world.

 Thank you for reading this! I don't think I will get to update tomorrow, so here's another one :)