It's Not Easy

My angel, my Stevie

The lights in the living room are switched off, the lights on our Christmas tree, the fire flickering in the fireplace and the TV is enough. After dinner, the kids unwrapped their presents and now they're watching a movie, I'm not even sure what's on, as I'm too busy with the other giggly person, who can't seem to keep quiet for a minute. At first she was very resistant when my hands started to wander, then I pulled a blanket over us, so Stevie decided she wouldn't stop chuckling. 

"I'm not getting any until they go to bed, am I?" I whisper in her ear.

"No, you most certainly are not." She pinches the tip of my nose and I'm falling in love all over again. It's not been easy for us, ever. But this exact moment, when we're cuddled close together, our three beautiful children watching a Christmas movie and just this all-round comforting feeling of home... I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I stand up, taking her hand. "Come."

"Lindsey, just be patient."

"No, I'm not dragging you upstairs to have se... well, you know... I have a present for you." She squints her eyes, not trusting my words. "I promise you, we're not going up stairs for that, not yet."

We enter the bedroom and I ask her to sit on the bed and wait. "Lindsey, hurry the hell up!" I hear not long after I leave the room.

“I think you were the one who told me to be patient not long ago.” I come back shortly with a roll of paper, tied with a gorgeous red bow, needless to say I had some help with that. “Here. Merry Christmas, Stephanie.”

She takes it, examining it. She finally slips the bow off and unrolls the sheet of paper. It isn’t new, I'm not sure she understands what it is, not just yet. There's musical notes on it, by now the melody should start playing in her head. It has 1972 written on it. She turnes the paper over to find my unmistakable handwriting.

‘I can’t believe we’re actually going to release an album! That is overwhelming really. I moved to LA with Steph only because we’re so young and fucking stupid. How could I actually believe our dream? Well, I did, but I didn’t think someone else did as well. She’s at work now, god I hate that she has to be working so much, but I’m no use, I can’t do anything besides play my guitar. So I’ve been playing this melody over and over again. It has to make it on the album. It’s so simple really, but it’s… gracious if that makes sense, it’s calm, it’s flowing, it’s sweet in a way, it’s loving, it’s really beautiful, it’s so absolutely Stevie. Oh, I think I just came up with a title! I’m going to call this Stephanie. She’s probably going to think I’m stupid and immature, but what can I say, I love her so much it hurts and I want her to know it. If you ever get a hold of this, please, know that no matter what happens, we stay together, break up, get back together, I will ALWAYS love you, Stevie. You are my whole life, I can’t live without you. You complete me.'

Love you, angel
- (way too emotional) Lindsey, 1972

She starts and can't stop crying. She throws her arms around me tightly and presses her lips to mine. I smile, thinking that she understands my thought in such a simple piece of paper. Though it isn’t just that to neither me nor her. It is a piece of our history and I doubt she isn't shocked I've kept it.

“So? Did you like it?”

“Lindsey… this is simply the most amazing gift I have ever got in my whole entire life.”

“I had found it between my things once before, thought about giving it to you then, but the time wasn’t right at all. I’m glad I saved it up to now.”

“Me too, it’s… it’s unbelievable really. Thank you. It means the world to me.”

“Come here.” I put my arms around her once more. “I love you. I knew that somehow, we'd get where we are today. I knew we would make it. We had to go through all that crap, the heartbreak, tears, we had to hurt each other, we had to live through it all to be us, to be the way we are today. To be Stevie and Lindsey, to have made it with our music, but what's most important, to be a family, to be parents to Sara, Alex and Layla. We survived it, you and I, together, Steph. Words will always fail me when it comes to telling you how much I love you.”

“I don't know what to say... I'm forever yours, Lindsey. You have my heart and soul, you are my heart and soul. I wouldn't have been happy if you weren't with me right now. I just... I love you.” She gives me a kiss that is just as passionate and soul searing as the one almost fourty years ago.

My angel. My Stevie. My whole entire world. 

THE END

45 parts, wow! Thank you so so soooooo much for reading this story! I appreciate all your votes and comments ♥