It's Not Easy

Did I say something wrong?

We've been rehearsing for a couple of weeks now and things are going okay. We're strong as a group of musicians, but Stevie and I can't ignore remarks about our relationship from Mick mostly and other random people, who aren't concerned whatsoever. She's right saying that we're just fine when it's the two of us, but once other people get involved we're basically screwed, it's always been like that.

We’re having a lunch break, all five of us. I of course had to complain about Stevie not eating much, but she's determind to lose weight, which is complete nonsense. I think she looks her best since as long as I can remember. She wants to look like she did when she was 25 or something, I don't know, but she's absolutely insane about this.

I see the producer of the show coming our way. Since there’s plenty of space, he takes a seat with us. “Guys.” He turns to me and Stevie. “I don’t know who planted this idea in your heads, but the level of publicity is through the roof! This is genius!” He says.

None of us really understand what’s going on. I speaks up. “What are you exactly saying, Elliot?”

“Well… you and Stevie, this whole being back together thing. People seem really drawn in.”

She almost chokes up on her food. “Excuse me? This whole being back together thing?!” I place my hand on the small of her back to calm her down.

“Right. Did I say something wrong?” He frowns.

“Yes, yes you did. Do you think this is for publicity? To get people interested again?”

“Isn’t it?”

She clenches her tiny fists so tight, her knuckles have turned white. “Do you hear yourself?! Jesus! I've married Lindsey for the second time, we just moved into a new house that we bought together! We have a daughter! Does it seem like it’s some fucking stupid game we’re playing to get the fans excited?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

“What? WHAT didn’t you intend to do?!”

“I didn’t think you would get this upset.” Like she always said, she might not look scary, but she can be at times and Elliot is completely terrified. “I honestly thought you two started this because of the reunion.”

“One thing I’m not is an actress, remember that. I don’t care what you tell me, how much money you offer me, I will NOT ever play any of these games.” She jabs a finger in his direction. “I’m so sick and tired of people questioning us. Like why? Why is it so hard to believe that Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham have grown up? Why can’t you trust us for once? Why can’t you give us a fucking chance?!” And at that she starts sobbing.

She can’t stand being emotional around others, but I know she couldn’t keep it in her any longer. Everyone's been on our case lately. She needed this relief.

I have my both arms around her as she continues crying and soaking my shirt, which she's been doing all too often lately. “Proud of yourself?” I ask Elliot.

“I apologize, I didn’t know this was serious!”

“Well, then don’t just fucking assume?”

“I think you should leave now.” Mick says to the producer of the show and he goes away in a flash. “I feel for you both. You didn’t actually announce it publicly, that you’re a couple. Maybe you should do like a press conference or something?”

“A press conference?” Stevie eyes him in disbelief. “About what, Mick? My life?”

“Okay, that was stupid.”

“I told you, Linds, didn’t I?” She looks up at me with bloody red eyes. “Once other people get involved, we’re screwed.”

“No we’re not, angel.”

“I feel like it’s either the band or our relationship and it’s always been that way.” She nods a thank you at Christine, who gives her a tissue to dry her tears.

“Don’t say it, Stevie. Please… I told you I’ll quit if this started again.”

“What?!” John, Chris and Mick all ask in shock.

“No, Lindsey, absolutely not!”

“You are more important to me than anything else, Stevie.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Lindsey Buckingham.”

“Hell no, he’s not!” Mick adds.

“See?” I face him. “This is exactly what I and Stevie talk about for hours at night, just how our relationship is an open book to everyone, it’s as if everyone’s welcome to join in! No.” I shake my head. “This ends today. Nobody, none of you get a say about anything. This is me and Stevie who are concerned, this is our lives, it's what we want. From now own, keep your god damn opinions to yourselves. I’m over listening to everyone whisper how fucking stupid we are for being back together again, gee… for getting married. Why don’t you let us live our lives?” Nobody is saying anything. Coming to rehearsals today I didn’t expect an outcome like this, but it’s good. People need to understand they can’t just tell us what to do anymore. “We are grown people, we’re sober, we’re clean, we can make our own decisions. So, please… just let us be.”

With that I stand up and Stevie follows me. “Ready to go home, baby?” She nods and we hurry out the building, not even caring about hours left of rehearsing.

If not for the Fleetwood Mac reunion, well, the EP first, Stevie and I wouldn’t be where we are today, but I’m starting to realize that maybe, just maybe we should have left things with the band to rest. I know she would quit to stay with me, but I start to think that the both of us should do it. We have our solo careers, we will always have music in our lives.