It's Not Easy

You don't want to know

Stevie is still asleep as was Sara the last time I checked. It's rare I have a moment to enjoy the morning on my own, I need it sometimes. I swam in the pool for a bit, now I'm in the kitchen, searching for something quick for breakfast I could make myself before the ladies are up. I take a sip from a cup of coffee and see that our housekeeper has brought in the newspaper. I decide to quickly skim through it, but when I pick it up and examin the front page, my heart sinks. We were fools to think we've seen the last of Adam... On top of everything, we did not need this. 

I skip through pages to the article and ready myself to read it. I don't have the will to read everything, it's just one big, massive lie, but some things stand out and I can't imagine Stevie will take this very well.

'She was married, when we started our affair... Her husband caught us together one time and they got into a huge fight and he threw her out... I was very in love with her from the moment I saw her, so I asked her to come live with me... She was served with divorce papers, but she didn't sign them, because at the time she was pregnant with his baby and hoped that with it she would get him back, but when he didn't listen, she had an abortion... They divorced and while she made me believe she loved me, she kept seeing other men... She said I got her pregnant, but who knows... She was an emotional wreck throughout the pregnancy, she was drinking heavily, she smoked... It's a miracle that little girl is here today, she didn't care of the danger she had put her baby in... I left on a business trip and when I came back, I found them together... I simply couldn't take it any more, I told her it was over... After we broke up, she was angry with me, she disappeared... My daughter is nine months old and I have not seen her, she doesn't let me...'

I tear the whole thing into pieces and smash everything in my way. I can't believe that asshole! Every single thing he said was a complete lie! How the hell did this paper bought it? Did they even know he was definitely seeing Stevie at some point? When I'm done destroying, I stand in one place, breathing heavily as I see her rushing down the stairs.

"What happened?" She gasps at the state I've turned the kitchen into. "Are you okay?" She lifts my hand that got bruised and some gashes opened up. I compose myself and pull her into my arms. "Lindsey, what the fuck is going on?"

"You don't want to know..." My voice just above a whisper.

"I think I do. What is it? Did you get a call or something?"

I draw back and put my hands on her shoulders, she puts hers on top of mine. "I know you will get upset, very, but please... It's not true, any of it, you know it."

"Lindsey, for the love of god..."

"Adam..."

"I should have known." She closes her eyes briefly and takes a deep breath.

"He sold you out to the press. I just read that bullshit and threw it out, you can't see it."

"Where is it?" Her voice is firm.

"Stevie, no... Besides, I tore it up, you won't be able to make out anything of it now."

"I'll get a new copy."

"Please, don't do it." I shake my head, begging her.

"That bad?" I give her a nod and her eyes well up with tears. "What..." She clears her throat. "What did it say?"

"Stevie..."

"No, Lindsey. Okay, you don't want me to know the whole thing, please, then at least give me something."

"Well... He said that the two of you were having an affair behind my back, that I asked you for divorce and at the time you were... pregnant with my baby and you got rid of it. That once you were in a relationship with him, you were still seeing other men and you told him he got you pregnant, but he couldn't be sure. He also said that you were drunk and high the whole time you were carrying Sara. He made sure to mention you and I got back together and then he left you. He's hurt that his daughter is almost a year old and he has not seen her, because you don't let him." By the time I'm finished, she's in tears and she almost breaks down to her knees before I catch her and gather in my arms. "I told you, you didn't want to know." I kiss her hair while stroking it, trying to say anything and everything that might calm her down, but I'm sure nothing will help right now, so I let her let it all out.

"What's going to happen now?" She asks after calming down as best as she could. 

"I don't know, baby." I have to be honest.

"What did I ever do to deserve this, Lindsey..."

"You didn't do anything, what he said is one massive lie, you know it's not true, I know it and everyone around us knows too."

"But the public doesn't. What will they think of me? I don't care how they will see me as performer, but I can't live with people thinking I'm a horrible mother."

"You're not! Steph..." I put my hands on each side of her face. "You can't let this destroy you. You're a fantastic mother. We can let anyone into our home and once they see it, they'll know that Adam is just a bitter liar. He said that you're going to pay for not letting him see Sara... But it's his fault, he left, he abandoned the two of you. Do you honestly think he wants to be in her life? Or it's the fact I'm in it he hates? What else can he do besides tell lies?"

"I don't want anything to happen to Sara, he can't take her away!"

"He won't, don't even think that."

"Judging by what he said, he could get people to consider otherwise. Apparently, I'm a drug addict and we're going on tour soon, what else he needs? He's got everything he needs served on a silver platter."

"You are not a junkie, Stevie."

"But I still decided to go on tour after all."

"Then we're not going."

"What? We are not going?"

"You and Sara are everything to me, I won't let someone like Adam take her away and ruin your life."

"Lindsey..."

"No, don't say another word. I've decided."