It's Not Easy

This could be our chance

The moment is quite surreal. Stevie's cuddled up by my side, while my hand is tangled in her gorgeous long blonde hair. It feels wonderful lying together like this, no words are necessary, I can't remember if I felt this comfortable with her before. I don't even know how, but things moved so quickly from when I kissed her. One minute we're in the bathroom and the next one we're in bed together. It was a strange experience, but nevertheless satisfying, even incredibly so I shall add.

"Is it safe for you to be having sex?"

"Gee, you should have asked that before, don't you think?"

"Probably." Smartass... 

"But it's okay. The doctor said if I feel alright, then it's not harmful in any way."

"I didn't hurt you or anything?"

"No, Lindsey, stop worrying." She presses her lips to mine for a brief moment.

My answers are short and she knows I'm going over something in my head. She lifts herself up on her elbow, scratching my chest with her nails softly. "What are you thinking about?"

I run my fingers up and down her arm, hoping she stays calm. I don't want her to be angry with me. "Do you sleep together?"

"That's not exactly what you want to know, is it?"

"Not really."

"You don't need to know that."

"I have to."

"Why? Just don't think about it."

"So, you are sleeping with him." She doesn't say anything, not that I can expect something, she doesn't owe me an apology. "Tell me, are you honest with me? It sounds to me like you're living quite a happy family life."

"Lindsey, we were separated. I couldn't find a reason I shouldn't be with someone else."

"You said you love me."

"And I do."

"Leave him."

"I can't!"

"Why?!" I immediately regret yelling at her as she pulls away from me. "I understand that you two are having a baby together, but you're being unfair. This child will need parents who love each other, who care about each other to be able to care abot her too."

"Are you saying you want to father my baby?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"You're insane!"

"This could be our chance, Steph. We could be a family."

"It's not right, it just isn't." 

I feel that she's not giving me any genuine answers, but I don't think she's about to open up and I don't get why. I hear the doorbell ring and I'm thankful, I didn't know how to end our conversation. I put on my jeans and rush downstairs, leaving Stevie in bed. 

"Hello?" 

"Um... hi..." The man seems unsure of what to say.

"Can I help you?"

"Any chance my fiancee is here?"

I frown, slightly confused myself. "Your fiancee?"

"I'm Adam by the way."

I swallow the lump in my throat, I hope he's just messing with me. "Stevie's here." I nod and step aside to let him come in. "I didn't... She hasn't mentioned you two were engaged."

"Yeah, I'm not surprised."

"But she's not wearing a ring."

"I didn't give her one."

"How about I just go get her for you." I need a moment to breathe. "Can I get you anything?"

"Thanks." He shakes his head, urging me to call down Stevie.

"Steph!"

"You gotta be kidding me..." Adam says under his breath. "I've been gone for a day and you two have already resolved your issues?"

"I... no, just..." I haven't been so lost for words ever before. "Stevie, come down please!"

"I'm coming!" She appears in the living room, thankfully not naked this time. "Adam... What are you doing here?"

"Don't you think I should be asking you that? I thought you said you'd be staying with Christine?"

"She wasn't available."

"So, you thought your second best choice would be your ex husband's place?"

"Adam, don't make a big deal about this." 

I'm watching them from aside, not understanding anything. 

"You two fucked already?"

"Adam, please."

"Why didn't you think it was necessary to mention the fact you and I got engaged?"

"It didn't come up."

"It didn't come up?" I have to interrupt, she has been lying to me, I knew it. "Stevie, I asked you what was the relationship between you."

"She also told you she doesn't love me, didn't she?"

"I gave you a chance to be honest with me, Stevie."

"What did she tell you?" He asks me, his attention not on Stevie any more.

"That... That you two met at a beach, not long after we got divorced."

He laughs, shaking his head. "Don't." Stevie says before him. 

"I think you owe this man the truth, no?"

"Not now." She says, silently begging him not to go on either.

"Yes, we met at a beach, that much is true, just that it happened about five years ago."

"You said you didn't cheat on me if I remember correctly?"

"And I didn't. Nothing happened between Adam and I until we got separated."

"Then why couldn't you tell me you had met someone, that you made a friend? I tend to get jealous, but almost all of your friends are men. If nothing trully happened, then I would have been okay with it, don't you think?"

"I don't."

"But why?"

"Because I fell for him, Lindsey. I didn't physically betray you, but I fell in love with another man, while I was married to you."