It's Not Easy

Whose side are you on?

It is our first Christmas as a married couple, again, and if I'm honest I'm excited. Stevie and I have invited Mick, Chris and John and both sides of the family to celebrate together as well as to finally announce all the news we have for them.

The house is fantastically decorated, everything was put up by only the two of us, well, I was doing the work while Stevie was pointing with her finger. Decorating the Christmas tree was probably one of the most precious moments, because Sara understood that something important was happening, she seemed interested and it showed, it just warms my heart, whatever she does really. Our housekeeper, she's a great cook, set up a feast for us!

It’s almost seven in the evening, the guests should start arriving soon. As if on cue, the doorbell rings. “I’ll get that.” I rush downstairs from our bedroom, where Stevie's dressing up Sara and I was just standing in awe.

“Here they are!” I show with my hand at Stevie, who's carrying Sara on her hip, they both smile at my brother, Jeff, coming down the stairs.

“Merry Christmas, Stephanie!”

“Merry Christmas, Jeff.” She hugs him then he baby talks with Sara and Stevie shows him to the dinning room, I follow them behind.

“I think this is the first time I’m at your new house.”

“It’s not really new now, but yes, I reckon you haven’t been here.”

There’s the doorbell again. “I’ll go now.” Stevie says, giving me Sara, I and Jeff have some time to catch up.

“Well, hello, lady in red!” From where we stand, I see Christine grin and pull Stevie into a hug.

“Hey, yourself, Chris.” She moves over to greet John and Mick.

Everyone we’ve invited has gathered in another twenty or so minutes. I love how they want to get at least a tiny bit of attention from Sara, she's definitely the star of the party, but she's got a bit of an attitute and not all who want get to have her for even a minute. I somehow imagine Stevie being exactly the same. Sara is only okay, and I mean okay, with spending time with one of her grandparents, but she’s either in my or Stevie’s embrace. 

Dinner is served, everyone seems to be enjoying it. People are talking to each other, cracking jokes, remembering great times, which is what Christmas is all about and exactly what Stevie expected to be happening. None of us even notice as hours tick away. Sara is very intrigued by the Christmas tree, she’s really determined to get a hold of it. I stand up with her in my arms and walk over and she touches the baubles and garlands and smiles as they obviously seem to be entertaining her. I kneel down and she notices the presents, she has no idea what all of that is, but she’s a curious little thing.

“Hey, Dimples! Intrigued, are we?” I sit down on the floor with her. Stevie says she's beginning to think the girl won’t know her real name! I've been calling her Dimples for months now, because she has the most adorable dimples.

“Go ahead, baby, this one’s for you.” I look over my shoulder and see that Barbara has joined us, and is giving a box to Sara.

She looks up at her grandma, her little brows furrowed, then examines the box in her hands. “What if I help you?” She ask and then takes the top off. Inside the box all kinds of little kids toys are packed, Sara approves and smiles at Stevie's mother. “Come here, baby.” Sara willingly, for one, extends her arms to be picked up by her grandma. “My daughter is asking to see you, Lindsey." She says and gives me a knowing smile, although, we haven't told anyone yet.

I walk behind the chair Stevie's sitting on and put my hands on her shoulders and bent down to ask quietly. “You think it's time?”

She takes a deep breath and nods. “Let’s do this.”

We stand up and I require everyone’s attention. “Guys. Hey, the man of the house is trying to speak!” Stevie starts laughing. “Hey, whose side are you on?”

“Yours darling, always yours.” She tries her best to say it in all seriousness.

“Well…” I cough. “Wow, I find it easier standing in front of ten thousand people somehow. Anyway…” Only nine people are staring directly at us. “So…”

“Oh for god’s sake, Lindsey…” She rolls her eyes. “First of all, thank you for coming here and spending this special time with us. As spiritual and wonderful Christmas is, Lindsey and I chose this evening to share something with you. I know how surprising and shocking it was to almost everyone when Lindsey and I decided to give our relationship another shot and later remarry. Not that long ago I didn't even want to speak to him, but he’s changed so much and certainly for the better. I thought to myself, hell, why not? It’s not as if we can’t break up again, right?”

“Do what?” I nudge her playfully and our guests smile at us.

“I was afraid to be in a relationship with this man, but I know it's the best decision I've ever made.” We share a brief kiss.

“I've dreamed of us being like we are today for years and honestly I couldn't be happier. I love being married to Lindsey. Many times I thought I lost this man and I’ve been proved wrong, but I’m happy to be, because I can definitely say I’ve had the best time of my life once Lindsey and I got back together.”

“Likewise, baby.” I kiss the side of her face.

“It’s… I can’t describe how fantastic it is to wake up next to the person you love the most, to be loved by him, to be taken care of, to do silly things with, to make quite serious decision with… And he's just the most wonderful father to our baby girl. The moment I will cherish for the rest of my life was when… wow…” Now she's getting emotional. “When a few months ago I had a thought I wasn’t alone anymore. The moment that will forever be etched in my mind is the one when we were told there’s a life growing inside me.” Once she's finished her sentence she starts crying. She's not sad, those are definitely joyous tears.

“And not just one, we're having twins!” I announce excited and everyone starts cheering, definitely with a mixture of shock and surprise across their faces. “Everything that Stevie said, I second it. I love this woman more than life itself and to be expecting our babies… I can’t even tell you how I feel, because no words can do it justice.”

From that moment on, all I can remember is people congratulating us and being genuinely happy for us. I think that’s a first...

It's past eleven when everyone leaves. I help Stevie clear the table and tell her to leave the dirty dishes, she's exhausted as it is already. We put Sara to bed together and she's out like a light, it's definitely well after her bed time. Once we leave the room and Stevie closes the door, she lets out a deep breath, it's been a long day. 

"Happy?" I ask, pulling her in my arms.

"Very." I feel her nod against my chest.

"I'm glad." I step back and take her hand in mine, leading the way to our bedroom.

"I know you expect us to..."

I shake my head cutting her off. "Don't be silly. Yes, I'm taking you to bed, no, I don't expect us to have sex. Besides, after that dinner and the two in there already..." I put my hand on her belly, that's getting bigger as we speak. "I don't think we could fit another one in."

She laughs softly and presses her lips to mine for a moment. "You're an amazing husband."

"Only because I have such an incredible wife." 

I make her sit down on the bed and help her with the clothes she's wearing. I bring her nightgown from the bathroom and pull it down over her head, then get her under covers. I undress quickly too and join her, putting my arm protectively around her.

"Are cuddles allowed?"

"Yes, cuddles we can do." 

I kiss her hair. "Goodnight, angel."

She mumbles something back and I smile to myself, and drift off as well.