It's Not Easy

You don't get it

The first show of The Dance was filmed live, that's what we thought would be best, to let everyone who couldn't be there in person see it too and it went perfectly fine. It’s as if we haven’t even been separated for years. There definitely is that chain keeping all of us together. The reaction from the fans was fantastic, it’s obvious they missed this line up. I know Stevie couldn’t have been happier she could finally sing Silver Springs, which is such a beautiful special song she wrote for me, of course. Emotions were running high for sure, I was surprised myself that I found it near impossible to even finish playing Landslide. I just brought my hand to my chin and looked at Stevie while she finished the last few lines, then our eyes met and we smiled at each other, after that, we kissed. You could say it was our first public kiss, although we didn’t even think about it, it felt a completely natural thing to do. 

After about a week, I sat down with Stevie and we seriously discussed the possibility of ending our careers in Fleetwood Mac for good. If not the tour that is already booked, which starts September 17th, I think we would have actually agreed to quit. Now, too many people and too much money is involved to withdraw. After that, we’re free to do what we wish. While we love being a part of something as grand as this band, our personal lives, for the first time ever, seem to be much more important to us. We're a family now, we want to stay as one.

The Mac gathered soon again to celebrate Stevie's birthday. She didn’t want anything big, we had a lovely dinner at our new house that she cooked, which was also a great opportunity to show the guys around. After our band mates left, we put Sara to sleep and honestly, Stevie and I just went straight to bed as an old married couple. 

It's amazing to me how much our life together has changed since the first time. We care about and love each other like never before, that has a lot to do with Sara I think. We understand that we can't be egoistical rock stars anymore, we have to throw that out of the window and that has made things much simpler. 

Stevie's been enjoying her duties of the perfect housewife. She works around the house, she cleans, she cooks, she even finds time to take care of me and this is something she loves to do, now she realizes that, she said. Of course we have our housekeeper, but she isn’t here all day every day.

 Life couldn't be better at the moment.

~

Stevie and I were enjoying a cuddle in bed after lunch until our little miss announced she was awake from her nap with a loud cry. That girl has a crazy set of lungs, I'm quite sure she'll be following in her mother's footsteps. I smile widely at my two favorite girls as they enter the bedroom, I take Sara from Stevie, who was about to lie down, but we hear someone's at the door.

"I'll get it." She says, but I get up as well.

"We'll join you."

I carry Sara into the living room and Stevie goes to open the door. "You can't be serious..." I frown at how her voice trails off, we weren't expecting anyone. I can't think of a person, who would have her react this way. Oh, but I can... "Why are you here? How do you know where I live?"

"Calm down."

"You don't get to tell me that!"

I don't move a muscle, I let them speak. 

"I'm here to see my daughter."

"You don't have a daughter."

"You can't forbid me from seeing her. You should be thankful, it's only because of me you have her, because that husband of yours couldn't knock you up!"

"Leave!"

"Not until I see her."

"You don't have that right. You didn't care for her when I was pregnant and you don't care about her now, you're here just because you know Lindsey is fathering her."

"That fucking asshole..." He sounds angry.

"You're the only asshole! You were cheating on me while we were together, then you were the one to make me choose if I want to stay or go back to Lindsey. And when I did, you disappeared! Sara is seven months, add the last four of when I was pregnant, Adam. You were gone for almost a year, you don't have a right to show up and demand to see your daughter."

I wantt to go and interrupt, but I might just make things worse and Stevie seems to be holding up well. After a lengthy, I'm sure tension filled, pause, he speaks again.

"I thought I told you I didn't like the name."

"That's your problem."

"I can't even say it out loud."

"You won't have to! Understand that you will not get to see her, ever! Lindsey and I are her parents and we're doing just fine without you. So, please... Turn around, get into your car and drive back to where you came from."

"I'm her biological father."

"Oh my god!" The frustration is evident in her voice. "You didn't care about it for a whole year, why now?"

"Because I can't have him raise my daughter!"

"You just don't seem to get it... He loves that girl more than you ever could, he's the one getting up in the middle of the night, soothing her, singing to her, playing with her. Lindsey is Sara's father. I was going to let you be a part of her life until you decided to disappear like that. We're happy, we don't need you."

"Is this your final word, Stevie?"

"Yes, it is."

"You're going to pay for this."

I understand after that he leaves as Stevie closes the door and comes into the living room, then completely breaks down.

"He's not going to do anything." I pull her closer to me and kiss her forehead. "Empty threats, Steph. Don't worry about it."

I say the words, I would tell her anything right now, but I don't necessarily believe what's coming out of my mouth myself.