Running Through The Waves (Isla Vagues Series #1) - COMPLETED

Kabanata 26

Kabanata 26:
Stuck

I played with my fingers in the wine glass as I stared at the dark sky. The blaring music from the yacht was making my mind drift into something. I sighed as the cold breeze swept across my face. I'm wearing a black spaghetti dress that hugs the curves of my body.

My bare back was exposed, and it had long slits on the right side that made my legs show up. Pinagsisihan ko na ito pa ang pinili kong suotin. Nanunuot ang lamig sa katawan ko na naiibsan lamang ng mga tumatakbo sa isip.

I'm leaning against the metal railings as I stare at the moon. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng inggit. We're both alone, and yet my mind was full of clouded thoughts while it looks tranquil.

Ilang taon man ang lumipas, nanatiling malinaw sa isip ko ang lahat. Those memories don't even fade or vanish. It remains in my mind that keep bugging me whenever my mind is free.

Hindi ko rin naman pinilit na makalimot. Lagi kong dapat alalahanin iyon hanggang sa tumatak na sa isip ko. These endless thoughts are nothing compared to the pain I inflicted on... him. I scarred his heart. Walang kabayaran at kapatawaran ang kasalanan ko, kaya ang paghihirap na 'to ay dapat dalhin ko habambuhay.

Minsan iniisip ko na mas masuwerte pa sa akin ang isang kriminal na nakagawa ng kasalanan. At least he will be atoned for his sin by being jailed for years. Then after it, his conscience will be free, thinking he already paid for it by completing his sentence. Habang ako... ito. I think this suffering is endless. I will never be forgiven; I will never expiate that grave mistake.

Kung puwede lang, sana nakulong na lang ako. Bilang kabayaran sa mali kong desisyon na tumakbo sa isla. Kahit ilang taon pa, kaya kong kaharapin iyon, hindi ganito na walang-hanggang pagdurusa.

I shivered as the wind lingered around my body. The coldness made me recall the consecutive events for the past years.

"You're a fast learner, Kayeziel. Just hold the gun and point the end to your target. If you're sure of your angle, then pull the trigger." Zaijan said behind me, assisting me with another session of shooting. I pointed my gun at the farthest target. My eyes narrowed, zooming in on the red dot in the center.

My lips twisted as I pulled the trigger. Narinig ko na lang ang marahang palakpak ni Zaijan at ang pulang tuldok na butas na.

"Woah. You learn better and faster than my men, baby. I might recruit you one of these days." Zaijan praised in amusement. Umiling ako sa kaniya habang dinidiskarga ang walang laman na magasin.

"I don't think I'll accept another mission that isn't about ending my ex-fiancé," sagot ko. His lips twitched as he loaded his rifle.

"Tapos na ang session natin. Do you want to do another one?" tanong niya dahil kinarga ko na ang mga panibagong bala.

"Yeah, my fingers were itching to pull the trigger over and over again." Zaijan sighed when I held the gun again.

"Don't be carried away, Kayeziel. I know you have a deep-rooted hatred, but I still won't let you stain your hands."

"Hindi ko rin naman hahayaan na madumihan ang kamay ko lalo na kung basura ang hahawakan ko."

After the firearms training, I went to the gymnasium to exhaust my body.

I don't have anything in my mind but to know firearms and self-defense after we left Isla Vagues. The revelation I heard from the people there quenched my urge to do this. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin matanggap. I still refuse to believe Lola and Andeng had to face that horrible death.

Kumuyom ang kamao ko nang maalala ang mga iyak at tawag nila sa akin habang hinahatak ako ni Lyndon palabas ng bahay noong araw na iyon. I kept throwing punches at the punching bag when my tears suddenly fell.