Running Through The Waves (Isla Vagues Series #1) - COMPLETED

Kabanata 31

Kabanata 31:
Lips

Yuno seems so bothered and worried as he keeps glancing at me through the rearview mirror. Ramdam kong gusto niya akong tanungin tungkol sa nangyari, pero pinipigilan niya lang ang sarili. I don't think I could be able to speak too in the bile in my throat.

I thought Kairus and I were fine.

Akala ko handa na talaga siyang harapin ako sa kabila ng nangyari. But what do you expect, Kayeziel? That he doesn't have a deep hatred for you? That he won't get his revenge for what you've done? Akala mo talaga papalagpasin na lang niya ang lahat nang hindi nakakapaghiganti?

Pagkabalik sa mansiyon ay mabilis ang mga hakbang ko patungo sa loob. Sinalubong ako ng mga kasambahay at binati, pero naudlot iyon nang umiiyak akong nilagpasan lang silang lahat. They all gasped as their eyes followed me.

"M-Ma'am Kayeziel..." pagtawag sa akin ni Lea. Ang isa sa mga kasambahay na narito. I don't want them to be worried, but I can't speak to assure them I'm alright. Masyado akong ubos at wasak na hindi ko na nagawa siyang balingan.

I closed and locked the door of my room. I lay in my bed and cried. Hindi ko alam kung maaubos pa ba itong luha ko. I covered my face with the pillow, trying so hard to stop my sobs, but I failed.

Pinagkaisahan nila ako!

Plinano ni Kairus na bilugin ang ulo ko para mapaniwala na ayos ang lahat. And I'm so stupid to be easily fooled by it!

I want to tell myself that's just right! Maliit na bagay lang nga ang panloloko sa akin. Pero ano bang katumbas na hirap ang dapat kong maranasan para mabayaran sila? Hindi pa ba sapat ang mga taong halos mawala ako sa katinuan sa lahat ng sakit na ibinuhos sa akin?

Ysabel said I didn't lose anyone, but I lost my father. And before that, I lost Andeng and Lola because I treated them as family. How dare she measure my pain? She doesn't know anything. Hindi niya naranasang makulong sa kamay ng kasuklam-suklam na lalaki. Hindi niya naranasang maging desperada para makawala sa pagkakakulong sa kagustuhan ng magulang.

Kaya anong karapatan niyang akusahan ako at pangunahan si Kairus na isiwalat ang planong ito laban sa akin?

How dare she?!

I can accept his wrath, but I can't accept it if someone questions me and sentence what suffering I should face!

Mali na magalit kay Ysabel. Sa aming dalawa ay ako ang may atraso sa kaniya. Siguro makapal nga talaga ang mukha ko na maisip pa ito laban sa kaniya ngayon. But she didn't know what I've been through.

My phone rang loudly, and I immediately saw Zaijan's name on the screen. Inabot ko ang phone at pinatay ang tawag. I also shut it down so he can't call me. I don't know if Yuno immediately reported this to him. Ayaw ko nang gambalain niya ako ngayon. I can accept all his scolding next time, but not right now.

Siguradong iiyak lang ako sa kanya ngayon kapag kinausap ko siya, kaya mabuti na umiwas na lang.

Dinalhan ako ng pagkain ng kasambahay sa kwarto ko para sa dinner, pero hindi ko rin iyon ginalaw. I remained sulking in bed for hours.

I eventually drifted to sleep with a heavy heart. I thought I was done with all of the crying, but it feels like I am back at zero again. I survived this feeling five years ago, but now I'm not sure if I can still make it.

Kinabukasan, nagtatalo ang isip ko kung papasok ba ako sa trabaho o mananatili na lang rito. Kaso alam ko na patuloy lang akong mababagabag sa pag-iisip kapag nagkulong lang ako sa kuwarto buong araw.

So even though I'm not in the mood to work, I force myself to get up and prepare. I took a bath and did my usual routine. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were swollen and rimmed with dark circles. I heaved a sigh and reached for the concealer to hide them.