Running Through The Waves (Isla Vagues Series #1) COMPLETED

Kabanata 32

Kabanata 32:
Pinsan

"Tatanggalin ko ang pagkakabuhol noon ngayon at kahit anong mangyari hindi na muli tayong maghihiwalay. Dito lang ako kung nasaan ka. Hinding hindi ko na hahayaang mawala sa akin ang tahanan ko." nalagutan ako ng hininga sa mga salita niya. The tears brimming in my eyes fall. Napasinghap ako at hindi makapaniwalang nakatingin sa kanya ngayon.

"P-Paano mo nasasabi 'yan? I hurt you! I'm the reason why Lola and A-Andeng are gone n-now." my voice crooked and a sob slipped on my mouth. Kairus closed his eyes.

"It's not your fault. Kahit isang beses ba noong nagkita tayo naramdaman mong sinisisi kita? Wala kang kasalanan. You're innocent, Kayeziel."

"K-Kung sinigurado ko lang sana bago ako umalis na ligtas sila Lola at Andeng, n-narito pa sana sila. K-Kasama pa sana natin. I am so stupid to left them alone in the house!  Kasalanan ko! Kasalanan ko!" I bow down my head and he lift my chin to make me look at him.

Iniwas ko ang tingin sa kanya dahil hindi ko kayang tignan siya ngayon pero sinundan niya ang tingin ko. I afraid to look at his eyes and see how broken he is. He doesn't let me look at anything but to him only. Humikbi ako at humigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ko.

My lips quiver when I see his fallen pained eyes. Its bloodshot but I can't see any hatred or any emotion that he's blaming me. It was filled with sorrow, grief and pain. I bit my lower lip to suppress my sob and he look at me longingly.

"It was devastating to lost them even until now. I'm carrying the pain that no one can imagine how heavy is it. Sobrang sakit at sobrang hirap. When I heard about what happened to them, I just want to kill that fucking Lyndon and his men. Gustong gusto kong pumatay. Nag-uumapaw ang galit ko na hindi ko na makontrol." ang tinig niya ay sobrang riin. His eyes were slowly burning in rage but I know that is not for me.

Kabaliktaran ng emosyon niya sa paraan kung paano niya ako hinahawakan ngayon. Marahan, mahinahon at ramdam na ramdam ko ang pag-iingat na halos hindi ko paniwalaan. How can he even hold me like this even after what happened?

"I was broken when I survive the explosion in the hotel. I almost lost it when I found out that Samuel was one of the victim and died in the tragedy. Halos hindi ko maproseso kung totoo ba iyong nangyari. Umuwi ako ng sawi, tapos malalaman ko na ganoon? Samuel even didn't do anything and they are not still contented. They also killed Lola and Andeng b-brutally." his voice broke and my chest tightens more.

Sobrang riin ng pagkakakagat ko sa labi ko na ramdam ko na ang hapdi roon at nalasahan ko na ang parang metal. My sobs is threatening to come out again. Pinipigilan ko lang ang sarili dahil pakiramdam ko wala akong karapatan na umiyak o maglabas ng emosyon ngayon.

"I'm s-sorry Kairus. I'm sorry." I said crying and he just shook his head.

"I-Iyong pinakamasakit doon, nangyari iyon ng wala ako. When they were trembling in fear, I was not there to protect them. I was too late to save their life. Sobrang sakit. My chest is ripping apart. I want to mourn for them but that fucking Lyndon didn't even let me. He searched to kill me." marahas akong napasinghap roon at napapikit ng mariin para lang pigilan ang pagluha ko.

"I want to fucking see Lola and Andeng for the last time even if it will bleed me but I lost that chance also. Hindi ko makalapit sa kanila kasi naroon iyong mga tauhan niya. Gustong gusto kong sumugod sa kanila pero ikaw iyong iniisip ko. Kasi paano ka kung mapahamak ako. I don't want to leave you alone. Pero iyong pinaka nakakamatay na sakit, Kayeziel. Iyong nagtatago ako tapos nalaman kong nawala ka na sa akin. I'm bleeding already but when I found out that you g-get drown, I fucking become lifeless."

"I d-done it because I thought I lost you already. It is useless to continue without you!"

"I am broken when I lost Samuel, I become empty when I lost Lola and Andeng and I fucking become insane when I lost you!"