[First Draft] Crystals (girlxgirl) (studentxteacher) (lesbian story)

Chapter Fifty

A/n: First update of 2015! Woo! I hope you enjoy it and I hope everyone has a good year!

Lilly

I couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened today. Since it was my dead brother's birthday (as well as the day he died for heaven's sake) some degree of upset was understandable from me. However, now that I lay here in the dark and thought over the events of the day, and even the days leading up to it, I could see that I had perhaps not handled things as well as I could have.

Who was I trying to kid? I'd been a complete bitch! While Laura had been amazingly patient been there for me the entire time, even when I was being awful to her. I would be lying if I said I wasn't exceptionally grateful. I must find a way of making it up to her.

I climbed out of bed and padded down the stairs, avoiding the few which released loud squeals when trodden upon.

What would be the best way to show my gratitude?

My initial idea was a romantic date. I could tell everything that was happening was making Laura stressed. She hadn't been herself recently and I had a feeling it was my fault. It would do her a world of good to have a meal, some nice wine and to just be out of the house for a while. She had informed me that, as much as she liked staying with us, she coulnd't wait to be back in her own home. In her position I would've been of the same opinion; especially knowing how different being here was to being in her own home. I would miss her when she left but everyone needed privacy and to be spending so much time together should be driving us crazy. Maybe it was annoying her and that was why she wanted to leave.

I slumped down on the sofa, only my top half resting on it and scolded myself quietly.

"You shouldn't be thinking things like that without knowing her real opinion. Now go and do something before over-thinking makes you even more insane than you were earlier."

I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and sat silently, sipping it. With nothing else to do, I turned to my phone to provide some entertainment. I had a text waiting from Sheridan - which was another thing.

Laura and I had both been neglecting our friends - too wrapped up in each other and school and everything else that had been happening. I hadn't even realised it myself until I received a text from Sheridan asking if I'd fallen off the side of the planet. That, of course, made me feel awful and I'd made plans to meet with her and Tanya in a couple of weeks; which appeased the uneasy feeling I got in my gut whenever I thought of how I'd abandoned them. Perhaps what Laura needed was to relax with some friends of hers. I would discuss it with her in the morning.

My head came to rest on the dining room table and I ran my fingers along the grain of the wood.

I stayed there for a long time and, for the first time in a while, dealt with everything that was going on in my head. Contrary to what I would have thought the process didn't make me feel worse, it actually worked towards making me feel better.

I decided I had to sort out my emotions regarding my brother. I couldn't behave the way I had for the last week every year, or worse, whenever I missed him. So I'd decided I would talk to Sophie (A/n: she was Harry's friend, check the early chapters, around four or five I think, for a reminder of her) and see what she recommended I do. I would ask about everything I'd pushed back for years, even though I was scared. I would see my friends a lot more and I would make sure that my girlfriend was feeling great. Even when I was wrapped in my own self-pity I had still hated seeing her so agitated and knowing it was my fault made it even worse. But I was going to solve it and become worthy of loving. And I'd start by helping her move some of her things tomorrow even though I really didn't want to.