The Assistant | Scavi

Confession

When Avi woke up again, he felt better. He looked at the clock on his nightstand, it was half-past ten, but instead of turning back around to sleep some more, he got up carefully, to not wake Scott who still was fast asleep.

Avi had noticed that Scott woke up frequently, he was tossing and turning more than he had the other times he had slept next to him and this, combined with the long walk had probably tired him. But Avi was ready to start the day and so he left the bedroom, closed the door and went downstairs. He poured himself a cup of tea and sat down on the patio where he thought about what had happened the day before.

Most of it was a blur. He remembered going out for brunch with his family before getting on the car with Darien and Esther to drive back home. Then about two hours into the drive, he got the message from Kevin and found out that he couldn't come on the tour due to an accident.

This changed the everything and while Esther moved to the backseat to stay with him while Darien drove them home, Avi found himself in and out of anxiety attacks, first smaller ones that would fade with some breathing exercises and positive thoughts, but still, it was a downward spiral that ended in a severe panic attack, worse than anything he had experienced before.

But then there was Scott, holding his hands, talking him down while Esther was working around him, helping him deal with his hyperventilation. And then, just like that, he was on the sofa, close to Scott. He remembered his scent, it was calming and sent him off to sleep immediately.

Scott. He had been perfect, he talked to him when he needed to hear a voice, but he also was able to be quiet when it all got too much. Even though he had been going through a major attack hangover, he had enjoyed the time with the tall blonde and especially the time they spent in the hammock had been a much welcomed moment of peace. Even though the blur, Avi remembered how happy he had been and that, if he hadn't been too exhausted, he would have told him so much more, things, that now that he was talking about made anxiety rise within him again. It was a different kind of anxiety, one that Avi would be able to cope with, but that still wasn't comfortable.

He took out his phone and the business card he had put into the case and decided to just text him:

"Hey, it's just me, Avi. Are you free? Scott is alright, but I just have to know something and maybe you could help me? Just if I am not interrupting anything?"

He only had to wait a few minutes and then his phone rang.

"Good morning, Mitch."

"Hi, Avi, how are you?"

"Goo- better," Avi said. He had corrected himself because he knew that he didn't need to put on an act for Mitch because he knew about his anxiety and Scott probably had told him the gist of the past day's panic attacks.

"That's good. How can I help you? Do you want to talk about yesterday, or..." Mitch asked.

"No, I am better and even though it was very rough, I made it through the day and night alright, thanks to Scott and... I actually wanted to talk about him..." Avi confessed.

Mitch chuckled. "Of course, what is it?"

"I thought about him, about what he means to me and the fact that he is joining me on tour and... I have feelings for him, Mitch..." Avi said. "And..."

"You're scared that he would reject you?"

"Yeah... I mean I never have been in a relationship with a guy and I have so many issues, I am not easy to be with" Avi replied. "I mean I am not even out yet."

"Remember when we met in the car? When you weren't sure whether you wanted to go on dates with him?"

"Of course I do... you convinced me that I am not a burden for him and that I should give dating a chance..." Avi replied.