The Assistant | Scavi

A phone call

Avi smiled when he read Scott's message. He was sitting on the sofa with a cup of tea and one of Scott's books, happy to be well rested and able to focus on his book. Avi didn't want to admit it, but he had a feeling that it was partly thanks to the sleeping pill he had taken the night before. It had knocked him out really good.

Even though he knew that taking prescription drugs without talking to a doctor beforehand was not good, he knew that they helped taking the edge off on days like these.

Therefore he took only one of the small blue ones before Miles parked the bus on a bus parking lot on the edge of Shawnee National forest.

Miles would be retiring to his own bunk to nap for a few hours while Avi would be doing a little hike and meditation on his own.

Kaleb and Noah knew that he needed some time on his own and would spend some time in nature alone.

"How much time do I have?" Avi asked as he packed up a bag with water and snacks.

"Oh I really need a good nap. Let's say about three hours?" Miles said as he got ready for sleep.

"Wonderful" Avi replied and put on a watch so he wouldn't forget about time. "See you later."

He walked through the forest, eager to get away from the crowds and somewhere he could be alone. Still, he didn't stray away from the trails, he respected nature way too much. In the end he reached a little clearing where he sat down in the damp moss, closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing. It was something he was used to doing and it always brought him peace.

But this time it didn't work. Avi just couldn't seem to focus, neither on his breathing nor on the quiet and calm of nature. Whenever he heard a sound, he was pulled out of his meditative state of mind.

After a while, Avi became frustrated. He didn't understand while he wasn't able to focus on something as simple as his very own breath. His thoughts wandered off to the pills he had taken before. He had hoped that it would calm him down but apparently, it didn't. Avi didn't know why, but apparently the influence of the anxiety medicine was not helping him focus.

So he decided to check his phone for reception. It was rather good and he decided to just give his boyfriend a call.

"Hey, Avi, how are you?"

"Fine" the bearded man replied. "I'm sitting in a clearing in a forest, we're about 7 hours awake from Chicago. Miles is taking a break and I'm here."

"On your own?" Scott wanted to know.

Avi chuckled. "Of course I'm on my own" he said. "Needed some time to myself and Noah and Kaleb are taking a walk, too. What are you up to?"

"I just got home from taking a walk with Mitch. We had tea and cakes in the café and yeah... he's at work now and I'm revising once more. I am looking forward to the exam being over so I can join you again... I miss you."

"I miss you too, Love" Avi replied. "The hotel room in Chicago will be so empty without you."

"I know" Scott said. "And I wish I could be there with you. But you're able to sleep on your own?"

Avi took a deep breath. "Yes. The last nights were fine. I... am drinking the evening tea, loads of it and it is very calming" he explained, not wanting to mention the face that he was taking sleeping pills. He knew that he only needed them to get over the time without his boyfriend and was sure that he would be able to go on without them as soon as he had him back. 

 "I remember that tea. Not my favourite" Scott replied. "But if it is helping you... want me to stop by the tea stop for some new teas?" 

"That would be nice. Some of that evening tea would be great and whatever you're in the mood for. Thank you, Love" Avi replied and made a mental note to either drink loads of the aforementioned tea or get rid of it, so Scott wouldn't become suspicious. "Anyway, when do I need to think of you tomorrow? When is your exam?"

"At two in the afternoon. I'll sleep in. I hate having to sit around waiting for my exam. So yeah... and after the exam I might meet with some friends from university. Oh and I am going to find out when I'm taking my other exam. I hope that it's soon so I will be able to join you as soon as Esther can get me a seat on a plane." 

"Mmhm" Avi hummed softly. He realised that he really liked focusing on his boyfriend's voice. It was calming to hear it, even though Scott was just talking about his day and plans. "I'll think of you tomorrow, Love. You'll ace the exams, I am sure of it. Did Mitch tell you that I made an appointment with his therapist?"

"Yeah, he said something about it. I'm glad that you're taking this step and I really hope that she'll be able to help you" Scott confirmed. 

"Mmhm and even if she is not the one for me, Mitch said that she'll help me find the help I need. I just want to find out where my anxiety comes from and if there are any coping mechanisms that might help me before it gets worse" Avi explained. 

"Yeah, either coping strategies or some sort of medication that will help you when it gets too much."

"Mmhm..." Avi just hummed, not wanting to talk about a possible kind of medication. 

"Hey, Avi..." Scott said when he noticed that his boyfriend wasn't answering. "Avi? Are you still there?"

"I am."

"Good. See... I know that it sounds scary to take medication for your anxiety. But if it helps you and if there's a professional monitoring it, I am all for it" Scott said with a soft voice. "But we shouldn't think about it for now. The most important thing is that you'll go to the first appointment and talk to the therapist. Everything else will fall into place. And remember that I am always by your side, no matter what."

Avi felt tears rising in his eyes. Scott was so supportive, he was so perfect, always trying his very best to find the right words while he himself was lying and betraying him. It was almost too much for Avi.

"Are you okay, Love?" 

"Yeah..." Avi sniffled. "It's just a lot sometimes..."

"I get that. But you're not alone. I'll support you, no matter what. And you know that you can tell me everything..." 

"I know, Scott. And I am so glad to have you in my life. Thank you for being so wonderful. I really cannot wait to hug you for as long as you'll let me..."

Scott chuckled softly. "Well..." he said. "Forever would be a good start, hmm?" 

"Yeah..." Avi couldn't help but smile. "I'd like that."

"Well then I'll try my very best to be with you as soon as possible" Scott said. "Just hold on for a little bit longer."

"I will. Thank you, Scott... Anyway, I'll need to go back to the bus" Avi then said. 

"I should go back to revising..." Scott said. "Take care of yourself, Love. You're doing fine."

"I wish you all the best for your exams. And a lot of fun doing whatever else you're doing. Enjoy your time at home."

"I will. Goodbye, Love."

"Goodbye Dearest." Avi still felt remorse for his lies, but knowing that he had Scott's support was enough for the moment. Once Scott was back, he would just stop taking the pills and everything would be as it was before. Scott would be there and his presence would be enough to curb his anxiety. 

"I love you Scott..." he whispered softly once they had said their goodbyes and he had hung up already. He meant it, even if he wasn't able to say it to Scott's face just yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~