Busy being Yours

Introduction

Do I wanna know
If this feelin' flows both ways?
(Sad to see you go) Was sorta hopin' that you'd stay
(Baby, we both know) That the nights were mainly made
For sayin' things that you can't say tomorrow day

Do I Wanna Know? // Arctic Monkeys

I checked the time on my watch for the nth time this day. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit panay ang tingin ko sa oras when in fact, I already knew that this was already on my sched weeks ago.

Bakante ako this day, pagkauwi ko ay may panahon pa ako para mag-review but I can't seem to relax because my system's already been trained to be immuned by the constant anxiousness. Alam ko, parang tanga lang.

Sino ba namang gustong masanay sa pagkabalisa?

I sighed and stared at the back of David that was busy ordering food for us. I already bought the tickets at siya nalang ang hinihintay.

I bit the insides of my cheek, nang hindi na makatiis na mabakante ay agad ko na itong nilapitan. I held my boyfriend's arm as we waited for the server to complete his order.

Agad naman niya akong tiningnan, hindi ko na naman mapigilang mapangiti habang tinititigan siya. He's really good-looking, manly, and always clean. Alam ko, ang weird na i-describe siya that way pero masisi niyo ba ako? Hindi naman kasi talaga mukhang dugyot 'tong isang 'to.

I remembered back in college noong isa-isa nang nagkakaroon ng kanya-kanyang mga love life ang mga kakilala ko. Even my best friend, Clementine got herself a boyfriend. At hindi lang basta-bastang boyfriend ang nabingwit ng self-proclaimed future matandang dalaga kong kaibigan, she's dating our school's golden boy.

Siyempre, I'm happy for her. I love Clem and I knew about her past kaya sobrang saya ko nang malaman kong nagkakamabutihan na nga silang dalawa ni Luke.

I was happy for them all but a thought also crossed my mind... Why can't I have what they have?

Hindi naman daw ako panget, sabi nga ni Mama ay maganda raw ako. I also have a bubbly personality, said my Papa. But I could get annoying and too loud according to my older brothers. And I once thought that that was the reason why I still haven't dated anyone yet kahit na patapos na ako ng college... which was fine with me, hindi naman magugunaw ang mundo kapag hindi ako magka-lovelife.

Having a significant other was never my top priority. Kailangan ko munang maging doktora bago ko problemahin yan.

But I got lucky. I met David at the wedding of Clem's mom and her step dad. Pamangkin siya ni Tito Fred, we were introduced that night and the rest was history. Contrary to what other's believe, ay hindi naman kasi ako ganun ka ignorant when it comes to dating, I had suitors and went on a few dates before but it never lasted.

I was always the issue, masyado ata silang nap-pressure sa pagiging ambisyosa at sigurista ko. Hindi ko naman sila masisi if they can't keep up but I'm not changing myself for some guy. My worth is so much more than that.

Among those who tried ay si David lang ang nagpakita ng interes towards me even if I always had more time with my books and studying than him. He understands it all, he's actually really supportive of me on becoming a doctor. It's not that hard to fall for a guy like him. And so we started dating in the middle of my first year in med school.

Alam ko, it was a risk. Hindi ka pwedeng ma-distract habang nag-aaral sa med. But honestly speaking, he's not a distraction at all... Hindi naman kasi kami madalas magkita because of his work.