10. What You'll Regret

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It's always nice to discover a new place to hang out, especially coffee shops and restaurants. You get to try new food, new drinks... You get to enjoy new scenery... You get to try a whole new experience. I always find every first time in a place very memorable but I just think that The Glass House is the best memory that I'll have so far.

Sobrang gusto ko talaga ng ambiance ng buong coffee shop. It's just like studying in the middle of the woods. Kahit san man ako lumingon ay tanging mga naglalakihang kahoy lang ang nakikita ko. I think I should give the fairy lights and lamp posts outside the whole credit though, kasi kapag wala 'yung mga 'yun, malamang ay kanina pa ako nagwawala dito sa loob. Takot talaga ako sa mga engkanto, okay? Yes, naniniwala ako 'dun. And yes, I have a problem. For sure ay tatawanan lang ako ni PJ kapag nalaman niya kung anong nilalaman ng isip ko ngayon because among all of my friends, he's the most skeptic. He doesn't believe in ghosts, he doesn't believe in dark entities, he doesn't believe in the afterlife, he's kind of convinced but not really with aliens... the list could go on and on. For short, he's a non-believer. Kaya nga siguro ganun-ganun nalang siyang sumabog kanina because his cousin and Simone are talking about shit (based on PJ's level, not mine).

But okay, enough about engkantos and PJ. 'Di parin kami bati ng isang 'yun at sigurado naman akong walang mangangahas na kahit anong lamang lupa na magpapakita o magpaparamdam dito sa amin sa coffee shop dahil sobrang liwanag sa labas. At siguro naman ay napa-bless na itong establishment na ito, right?

I should really stop thinking about things that would just trigger my anxiety.

Muli kong binaling ang atensiyon sa kabuuan ng cafe. Like I said earlier, the whole place screams cottagecore aesthetic. Sobrang dreamy. I think the close thing that I could compare with the place is the movie, Alice in Wonderland, especially the scene where they're having tea with the Mad Hatter, which is kind of funny because when the server who also happened to be the owner served us our drinks earlier, she also told us na matapos niyang mapanood ang pelikulang iyon ay nagsimula na siyang mag-conceptualize nitong lugar na 'to. It's like it gave her the vision. Which is actually pretty cool...

I mean, just imagine being inspired by a certain thing that caught your attention tas kapag na-push through mo na 'yung vision na 'yun into reality and you saw that you actually delivered, it would be so satisfying. I wish I can be easily inspired by that too... Lately kasi ay wala akong mahanap sa paligid ko na super motivational. It's like being trapped in a certain situation wherein ang kailangan mo lang gawin ay ang mamoblema kung paano mo maitatawid ang araw mo. You get by but you don't really have a vision.

It kind of sucks but we all have those days. I know that I'll find one that'll actually inspire and push me to transform my visions into reality. Kailangan ko lang sigurong maging patient, and of course be less harsh with myself. We're all a work in progress.

Speaking of progress, sobrang dami kong nagawa during this study out. Siguro ay factor na rin na ang ganda ng lugar. I've read my notes for Neuro, Pedia, and Legal Med. Nasimulan ko na rin ang paggawa ng trans for OB at ang pag-aayos ng thesis namin (malapit na ang defense, so I'm already very anxious. I just want it to be perfect). At 'di lang 'yun, I even managed to make a reviewer which I usually don't do kasi sobrang time-consuming. But I did, on good notes nga lang. Ever since kasi 'nung nakita ko kung gaano karaming papel ang nagamit ko during my first year in med, I promised myself that as much as possible, I'll go paper-less. Bukod kasi sa it'll save me more space at sobrang convenient kapag nasa ipad o hard drive lang 'yung mga notes ko, it can also help the environment too.

Mag-aalas nuwebe na ng gabi nang nakaramdam na ako ng gutom. Tinext na ako ni Mama na tapos na raw silang kumain sa bahay at kung 'dun ko balak kumain ay may tinabi din naman silang dinner for me. I kinda wanna stay a bit longer here kasi sobrang kumportable na ako sa lugar at ganado pa akong mag-aral but at the same time I just wanna eat. At hindi 'yung take out or fast food na mga pagkain, gusto kong kumain ng lutong-bahay. Kahit kasi na sa puder pa ako ng mga magulang ko nakatira, paminsan-minsan lang ako nakakakain ng pagkain na luto ng nanay ko because of how busy I am. Especially ngayong nasa 3rd year na ako, halos araw-araw akong nasa labas to study. Kung may kakainin man ako galing bahay, mga sandwich at iba pang light snacks nalang ito.

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