July 31, 2019
I stared at my face on the mirror as I combed my hair using my hairbrush. It's exactly 15 days matapos ang last attempted suicide ko. I really thought na matatapos na ang lahat, pero it seems like I really am meant to live my life with all the guilt, and pain. Natanggap ko na life is cruel. Tinanggap ko na lang kasi there's no other choice.
If I want to move on, I shouldn't escape it nor forget it. Because moving on isn't about escaping and forgetting, it's all about facing it heads on and accepting the fact that it already happened and I can't do anything to alter what has been done. Only then I can continue moving forward. I still got a long journey to take, a rough and a painful one. But for now, I want to endure it first and see what's on the end of the path I'm taking. Who knows what or who'll I find at the end of the road. I wish it's worth the sacrifce.
"Mirra andiyan na si Haedeth" sabi ni Mommy mula sa labas ng pinto ng kwarto ko.
"Opo, bababa na" sabi ko at kinuha na ang bag ko.
Orientation ngayon para sa lahat ng freshmen since malapit na ang pasukan. It's on August 5, next week.
Pagkalabas ko ay nakita ko si Haedeth kasama ang fiancee niya.
"Mirra halika na" sabi ni Haedeth at binuksan ang pinto ng front seat dahilan para samaan ako ng tingin ni Brianne.
"No! You sit on the back. I'm the fiancee here" Mataray na sagot naman ni Brianne
"So what kung fiancee kita? This is my car for your information."
Haayy ang aga-aga nagbabangayan na naman ang dalawang 'to..
"Fine! kung ayaw mong umupo ako sa tabi mo, then that girl will also sit on the back with me!" Sabi nito at laking gulat ko ng bigla akong hilahin ni Brianne para umupo na sa likod.
"Tsk. Ngayon mukha na akong driver niyo." Reklamo naman ni Haedeth pagkapasok niya sa kotse.
Hindi ko na lang sila pinansin at ibinaling ko na ang tingin ko sa bintana.
"Haedeth mamaya you'll receive a message from your dad ordering you to have a datelunch with me. Just the TWO of us, no EXTRA" sabi ni Brianne na talagang may diin pa ang pagkakasabi.
"And now your using my Dad to get what you want? You're pathetic" Inis naman na sagot ni Haedeth.
"What the? How dare you call me pathetic!? No one talks to me that way!"
"If you don't want me to treat you like this better distance yourself from me.."
"Tsk. You think I'm enjoying making siksik of myself sa'yo? F.Y.I I am not into you! I am just doing what my parents tell me to do so! And besides don't you dare act as if you're the only guy I can marry, there's still more out there who's much better than you!"
"Oh? Yun naman pala, then go tell your parents to find you a much better soon to be husband that will fit your personality!"
"You know what? My parents arranged this marriage to HELP your family business. Ginawa nila yun because of their friendship. Kung may dapat mang mag-inarte rito ako 'yun! Don't be so makapal and picky, this is how charity works'
"At talagang inuubos mo ang pasensya ko..."
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!TANGINA TUMIGIL NGA KAYONG DALAWA!" Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko dahil sa sobrang pagkarindi sa bangayan nila.
"IKAW HAEDETH KALALAKI MONG TAO AND DALDAL MO! AT IKAW BRIANNE BE CONSIDERATE NAMAN KASI CLOSED PO ANG KOTSE NA'TO! NAKAKARINDI KAYONG DALAWA. IF YOU HAVE COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE DISCUSS IT IN FRONT OF YOUR PARENTS WAG SA HARAP KO OKAY! SIGE KUNG GUSTO NIYO SIGAWAN NA LANG TAYO. MAKIKISABAY NA LANG DIN AKO SA INYO... AHHHHHHHH!!!! TANGINAAAAAA ANG SARAP MAG-INGAY NAKAKARINDI!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO.ANO? MAG-INGAY RIN KAYO!!!" after ng nakakabinging sermon ko tumahimik na sila sa wakas.
BINABASA MO ANG
COLD-BLOODED PHANTOM: A Sweet Nightmare (COMPLETED)
General FictionDevamirra Neoma Selene Dela Cuego. The suicide queen and probably the saddest girl in the universe. The girl who used to love the bright full moon but one day she just woke up with her heart full of hatred. She was diagnosed with some kind of a sle...
