Help Me Understand

Mine

TW:  mention of sexual assault, however - there is no sexual assault in this book. Very minor, but I wanted to put the warning anyways!

It's almost like he wanted to get his neck snapped.

"I'm just not sure I understand," Hux muttered though clenched teeth. "I leave you alone with our prisoner and somehow she boards a ship and escapes."

No response.

"You tell me to leave and-"

"Would you rather I had let her throw you across the hangar again, General?" Kylo spat, his entire body painfully tense

Hux paused, his cheeks turning a similar color to his hair. He clenched his jaw and straightened his posture, trying to regain some sense dignity. "I would hate to see your... affections for this Resistance slut get in the way of our priorities," he replied sharply.

Kylo closed the gap between the two men, angrily pointing a finger in the shorter man's face. "And I would hate to have you imply that my priorities are being swayed," he hissed. "Know your place, General."

With that, he spun on his heel and left the room, leaving Hux alone with his frustration. Kylo stalked through the sterile hallways, every 'trooper and officer he came across scrambling out of his way.

He had always been an angry person, always been the man that could empty a room just by walking in. But this? This was a different type of anger.

This was pure, unbridled, all encompassing rage.

Just because of her.

The girl, the escaped prisoner, the rebel scum.

He stormed through the doors to his living quarters, his leather-clad fists clenching and his heart angrily beating in his chest. He quickly removed his helmet and threw it across the room, not caring that he'd have to fix it again.

Only three days.

His fist connected with the metal door, leaving a large dent. But he wasn't satisfied. He hit it again and again until half a dozen dents littered the surface.

It'd been just three days since she had left, since she had gotten on that ship. And in those three days, all he could think about was her.

Think about the moans and cries of pleasure that tumbled out of her mouth while he hoevered above her, those perfect pink lips of hers working against his, her hands tugging on his hair as he kissed and gently nipped at her neck.

But he couldn't help but also think about the pain in her eyes, the shock in her face when he ignited his lightsaber, the hurt radiating off of her as she listened to the cruel words he hurled at her.

He hadn't gotten a full night's sleep since she left. Since he lost her. Apparently, the only thing that kept his demons away long enough for him to sleep was her.

Every time he crawled in to bed, trying to find some relief from his own mind, all he could focus on was the fact that his bed felt painfully empty without her in it. A coldness in his chest that couldn't be warmed by any amount of sheets or blankets.

He couldn't even eat.

He'd try and take a bite of food and all he could think about was the smile on her lips when he brought her fresh fruit, the way she hummed happily when she tasted a warm muffin.

But the rage coursing through him wasn't because he couldn't eat or sleep. It was because of the sobering realization that this girl that had turned his life upside down would never be his girl.