Help Me Understand

Two Paths and Two Outcomes

There was a fine line between hatred and love. It can start on one side of that line and finish on the other, and you never even noticed when you crossed it.

You'd always imagined love differently. Blame it on the books you read or just idealization, but you'd always imagined it being some soft, gentle slip from platonic friendship to love. Never had you imagined it being a rough, jagged path of twists and turns where sworn enemies become lovers.

Though there was one book you remembered reading that didn't display love as such a warm, soft thing that easily occurs. It reminded you a lot of what you and Kylo had.

A girl was held captive just like you, imprisoned by a monster, a beast in all respects of the word. But even though he was beast-like in appearance and acted cruel towards her, love found its way into the story. She showed him kindness and made the effort to understand her captor, and that's what allowed for her to love him and for him to love her. And it turned out that love was all the captor needed to no longer be considered a beast.

You'd certainly considered Kylo to be a monster when you first met him. The stories you'd heard, the heartless facade he wore, the fear of him that gripped the galaxy. It was a gradual process, going from viewing him as the devil incarnate to the man you chose to be your most vulnerable self with.

It had taken you until now to really think about how much things had changed. The way you had come to inherently trusted him, the way he made you feel seen and heard and understood in a way you'd never experienced.

It felt like an out of body experience. Standing in that room watching yourself tell Kylo Ren that you love him. And actually mean it.

Time had seemed to stall at that moment. You remembered Kylo staring at you for an indefinite amount of time and then nearly toppling both of you to the floor when he took you in his arms.

You stayed that way for a while, encased in Kylo's warm embrace. His grip nearly suffocated you but it didn't matter. You let the tears fall, let every feeling that you'd buried rise to the surface. Everything you felt for Kylo, the way he had come to feel like home and like nothing you'd ever known all at once.

A tear or two had fallen from Kylo's eyes too, though you were sure he wouldn't admit it. That was fine though; actions could convey feelings better than words could sometimes. The way he held you there and kissed you until you both could barely breath told you everything you needed to know.

"You seem distracted."

You looked up to see Kylo walking into the bedroom, tugging his gloves on. It was refreshing to see him look so content, color in his cheeks and the hint of a smile on his upturned lips. You couldn't help but be a little proud to be the reason for the smile.

"Not distracted, just thinking,"

He made his way over "About what?

"World domination, the meaning of life. You know, the usual."

"Funny," he replied with a light chuckle. "Would you like to keep planning your world domination or would you like to train?"

You stood up from the bed and walked towards him. "Can't a girl do both?"

He smiled down at you, brushing your hair off your shoulder. "I'm sure you could."