Help Me Understand

Temporary

"Focus, and just breathe."

You took a deep breath, placing your hands flat on the ground beside you.

"Reach out," he added.

You did, slowly extending your hand. You jolted when you felt something on your arm. Opening your eyes, you saw Kylo crouched in front of you, a gloved hand on your wrist.

"Oh you meant like, like reach out with my mind," you sputtered, your cheeks burning with embarrassment.

He nodded sharply and pushed your arm back down,
his expression stony and unchanging. You closed your eyes again, taking a deep breath.

"Reach out with your feelings," he said.

You squeezed your eyes shut, your face contorted in concentration. It took a bit before you saw anything besides your eyelids, but when you did, your face relaxed and a small gasp escaped your lips.

"What do you see?"

"The forest," you replied breathlessly. "The flowers, the animals, the living things."

"What else?"

"Death. Darkness," you replied, your face twitching a bit.

Images of animal carcasses flashed across your mind, images of creatures fighting each other to the death.

"Good, keep going," he said softly.

You leaned into the feeling, trying to find the source of the darkness, figure out what it was coming from.

All of the sudden, you heard screaming and felt fear in your chest that wasn't your own. It was dread, sorrow, and you didn't know who it was coming from.

You opened your eyes to see a dimly lit area, smoke and flames splattered around. You could see a man crying, speaking to someone but you couldn't decipher what he was saying. All you could hear was the pain in his voice.

You faintly heard Kylo calling your name, but you couldn't answer him, couldn't come out of whatever place you had entered.

The fear and heartbreak that was coming from an unknown source crashed over you again, stealing the breath from your lungs. You felt like you were drowning, felt like you were being suffocated.

You tried to come back, tried to return to the present, tried to grab onto reality. But you couldn't. You were stuck, being crushed by this sadness that didn't belong to you, watching this man cry in front of you, stifling his sobs with his hand. You tried to ask what was wrong, tried to help but he couldn't hear you.

There's no other choice.

The image shifted again. It was raining, cold and dark, but you saw the faint outline of your father. His usual stony expression, eyes flashing with hurt. He'd always looked like this - his expression blank but his eyes dancing with unbridled sadness.

You tried to reach a hand out, tried to reach out to your father. Wanting nothing more than to feel his presence again despite all of the pain this man had brought you. You kept trying to reach out but you couldn't. All you could do was look at him.