When The World Stops | Completed

Chapter 17: Reunions

We pulled up and ran to the door, where a burly bouncer stopped us. "Sorry, we're not open yet."

I pulled out my badge, "FBI."

His eyes grew wide, "There's nothing going on here, ma'am, we've got all our permits and all."

"We have a missing person that one of your performers may be connected to." I answered, "I frankly couldn't give fewer shits about your permits. Now take me to Jenna."

"I don't know who that is, ma'am. We don't use names, even I don't know them." He shrugged.

I sighed and told him her performance name. He nodded and led us into the dressing room, where I immediately spotted Jenna.

"What the hell is this about?" She asked.

"You're about five seconds away from being arrested unless you tell me everything you know, right now. Now, you're one of only a couple people here who knows my safe words, and you're one of two who I know have seen the present I gave Spence and knows what it means, so I'm putting two and two together." I held up the evidence bag and her eyes grew wide with understanding. "Now you tell me where Spencer Reid is or I will destroy your career and your place in the community so thoroughly you will never find another partner again, got it?"

Both JJ and Hotch looked surprised, but I kept my eyes trained on Jenna.

"I saw him earlier today." She sighed, "He came by right when I arrived and asked if I'd talked to you. I said now and he just left."

"Describe how he looked." JJ stepped in. "Bloodshot eyes, marks on his arms, anything. What was he wearing?"

"Shirt, sweater, and slacks. No marks on his arm, but he looked like he was either high off his ass or hadn't stopped crying for a while. Based on how well he talked, I'd say crying." She answered, "I don't know which direction he left in, you might be able to check the exterior security cameras though."

JJ and Hotch nodded, exiting the dressing room. Jenna turned back to me.

"You're serious about this, aren't you?" she asked, "You'd do anything for this boy."

I nodded, "I would give up the world for him."

"Good luck. I'll tell you if anything happens."

I rushed out after Hotch and JJ, and they were already walking out of the building.

"We've got a partial plate on a taxi he took from right outside, and the company name." JJ told me, "Garcia's finding it now."

I nodded.

Please don't let us be too late. Please.

"Two cabs with the plates, same company." Garcia's voice echoed from Hotch's phone. "Both of the drivers were working this morning. I'm getting you their info now. And... it's on your phones."

JJ and I were immediately calling them.

Mine went nowhere, he hadn't been in the area this morning, but JJ's eyes lit up.

"He was in the area and remembers someone fitting Spencer's description. He's on his way here now."

Please don't let us be too late. Please.

The taxi driver arrived but ended up being a bad lead. All he could remember was dropping Spencer off at a corner, it seemed like he'd chosen it at random.

"I want to go back to his apartment." I muttered, "There has to be something."

Hotch nodded and dropped me and JJ off. I went to his bedroom, desperate to pretend he was close.

"Spencer," I whispered, "If you can hear me, please be alive. Please, I'm so sorry, just... I need you Spencer, please."

JJ called my name, and I shot up. She looked confused, "He just showed up at your house."

At least he's alive.

***

He was shaking, voice trembling. "I... I didn't know where I was going."

"Shh, it's okay Spencer," JJ said.

I kept my distance.

"I messed up on Saturday, after seeing Hotch, I found my old stash," he sobbed, "I tried but it was all too much."

This is your fault.

"I just... shot up yesterday, I cleaned everything, I needed something to be right. Needed to be able to fix something." He said, and his tone broke my heart. "I woke up this morning and... I had no idea what I had done, I took so much I can't remember anything after that but I was worried so I went to Jenna's but she hadn't heard anything so I tried to go to a meeting but... my head was all fuzzy and I forgot where they were. I just started walking and I ended up here."

This is what happens when you let people get close to you. You break them.

"I'm so sorry," he broke down sobbing again.

"The details don't make sense," Emily muttered to Hotch, "The phone call, the stuff at his house..."

I glanced at Garcia, who was looking exceedingly guilty. "Garcia?"

"I programmed his other phone to... well, you see, he wanted to be able to hide his number and I thought it would be safer if I just gave him the ability to change his number so I... maybe gave him that feature? And it's possible he cloned an existing number." She looked down, "I didn't think it could do that, he must have messed with the code or something."

"And the, uh, necklace and note were him tying up loose ends." I groaned, leaning my head against the wall, "I feel like an idiot."

JJ was consoling Spencer, who was fully in tears at this point, but I still couldn't bear to look at him.

"Care to elaborate?" Rossi asked.

"It's... kind of like a promise ring. The necklace, that is. I gave it to him... he didn't know what it meant to me at the time, but I think he figured it out. And the note was his way of apologizing. He's stopping the usage again, trying to recover." I mentally kicked myself, "And I didn't understand any of it."

"I still don't quite understand the necklace..." Started Morgan.

"Please don't." I cut him off. "I don't want to go into it."

I walked to my room, closed the door, and let out a wordless scream.

Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.

"Stop," I groaned, closing my eyes as if that would help, "Stop." But it only got louder, like a pulse.

Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.

"(Y/N?)" That sounded like Spencer, but there was no way, "Can we talk?"

I opened my eyes and saw him standing at the bathroom entrance, pulling his sleeves down nervously.

"Spence," I whispered.

"Hey." He tried to smile, but I tackled him into a hug.

"I thought you were dead, asshole," I muttered into his shoulder.

"I'm here." He pulled me away to look at me, "It took a while, and I really messed up, but I'm here."

"I'm so sorry." I whispered, "I will spend the rest of my life apologizing for what I said to you."

"You were angry at me, you're only human. And I'm not perfect either. I relapsed, bad, and..." He pulled me close again, "I need you."

His arms felt like home.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too." He answered immediately, "But we clearly both have some stuff to work through if we're going to make all of this work."

I nodded, "I'll look into therapists. I'm really sorry, Spencer."

"Don't apologize for having issues. If we all had to do that, I'd be here all day." That was only half-joking, but I could see the smile behind his eyes.

I hugged him again, "I'm just glad you're okay."

He's safe. That's all that matters.