supernatural preferences

How they help you deal with depression-Castiel

for Spn_Fam1 💛💛

Castiel had no idea about your depression and you had every intention of keeping it that way.

You had been so stressed out, and your heart felt heavy. Your heart broke when Chuck killed Jack. He was practically a brother to you. No matter how much he had messed up, you knew he didn't mean to do it. Seeing the boy you helped raise, and the boy who you felt the need to protect at all costs, just die right in front of you. He fell back into your arms and you had to look down to see your boy, your jack having two black holes replacing his beautiful blue hues. You lost your little brother that day and your heart broke even more every time you thought of him.

Ever since then you had distanced yourself from everyone, even Cas. you shut yourself up, locked yourself in your room except for the essentials. You didn't watch sad movies, you didn't listen to music. You just stayed in your bed and slept. But every time you fell asleep Jack's lifeless body in your arms is all you saw. Castiel came to your door everyday begging for you to come out but you never did.

"(y/n), please let me in. you've been locked up in here for days. You can't keep shutting me out." Cas' voice sounded stern. Finally you had enough so you got up and opened the door for him. His fist was raised as if he were about to knock once again. His brow furrowed intensely in concern. Without invitation he walked in and closed the door behind him.

You looked up at him with broken eyes and a vulnerable aura. His heart immediately broke at the sight.

"Cas, I can't believe he's dead... Jack, he's just. He's gone. Why did this have to happen? He was my little brother Cas. It hurts." your voice broke. Suddenly your walls didn't exist and you were completely defenseless in front of him.

"(y/n), Chuck didn't get his way so he took it upon himself to ruin our lives more than he already has. I'm so sorry." he said. Looking up at him your eyes became glossy.

" He broke my walls. I'm completely ruined. Cas, I just want to hide away forever from everyone. I can't, Cas, I can't. I just want to sleep, being alone is so much easier than speaking about things and facing the people that remind you of the one you lost." You took a deep breath.

"I shut myself away because that's what I know to do. It's always what I've done. I've never been able to stay open, I'll always be this way and I'm sorry but I can't change this over night. I can't just face this head on, it hurts too much. Don't make me. Please Castiel, please." you stumbled on. Your voice is shaking and straining.

Cas looked at you with a pained expression and pulled you into his arms.

"I wish I could take this away from you. Give you everything that you need to be ok. I know it won't be easy, it will be very difficult. But I'm here now, and I won't let you shut me out. Let me be with you, let me help you." he whispered against your hair.

 "Open up, I won't judge you, I won't let you feel this alone. I want to see YOU. all of you. Don't hide from me." he said. You cried as you nodded into his chest clutching his coat in your hands tightly.

"I'm too tired to hide anymore. I don't want to." you cried.

"Then let me help you." Cas said before placing a kiss on your head.

After that day, you and Cas had grown closer than ever and your heart began to mend. For the first time in your life you felt like you would be ok.