supernatural preferences

They Help You With a Panic Attack- Sam

Sam: 

Sam had been really snappy with you lately. If you tried to talk to him while he was researching he would get angry with you. If you tried to get him to get some rest he would raise his voice.

It seemed that no matter what you did he would always get mad at you. It broke your heart and it made you really anxious not knowing if he was going to get angry at you if you said anything.

you walked into the war room seeing Sam and Dean both sitting there talking. You picked up a fake smile and placed it across your lips before walking towards them. "Hi guys, what are you talking about?" you ask before taking a seat next to your boyfriend. Sam looks over at you his eyebrows knitted together and nose scrunched up as if he was disgusted just by you being there. Once again you began to feel your heartbreak. "It's none of your business (y/n), what are you even doing here? You're not being useful anyway so just leave." He said blatantly. Your face dropped in disappointment and you just nodded sadly before getting out of your chair. " What the Hell Sam? What is wrong with you?" Dean practically growled at his little brother. "Dean, don't it's ok." you said and he looked at you with eyes that asked if you were ok. You just nodded and turned away, and walked away. Getting away as quickly as possible, you slugged through the hallway to your room.

You opened the door to your room, your own room not wanting to sleep next to Sam for the past few days because you didn't know what would set him off. You felt the lump in your throat and tried to urge it down. Not wanting to cry, you blinked the tears away.

You were too busy trying to shake off your feelings to notice that Dean had followed you.

"(Y/n), hey, are you ok? What he has been saying these past few days it's been really shitty. I don't know what's wrong with him, but I'm sure he doesn't mean it." Dean spoke up. You jumped and turned to face him. You heard his words and your eyes began to water again. "It's ok Dean really. I know I'm not much of a help..he's just telling the truth." You said, your voice strained. He came up to you and tried to pull you into a hug. "That's not true at all. You know that." He said with a hurt look on his handsome face.

You all of a sudden heard footsteps getting closer and began to get anxious.

Your eyes got wide when you saw Sam standing in the doorway.

Dean looked at him in anger, "Do you see what you did." he spat out. His brother stared at you with regret. "Dean I-" He didn't get anything out before Dean interrupted him. "You hurt her Sammy. The person you promised you'd never hurt. Look what you did!" Dean raised his voice and you jumped. "You know what Dean this isn't any of your business so just butt out." Sam retorted his voice just as loud. You slammed your eyes shut and flinched.

Sam saw this and his once confident stance slouched at the sight of your fear. "You scare her Sammy." Dean said while looking back at you. "Let me just talk to her.. Let me explain ok." he said to his brother. Dean was reluctant before nodding stiffly, "Fine."

Dean walked out the door and Sam took a step closer to you, your eyes still closed tight and your arms folded tightly across your chest. He hesitantly placed his hand on your shoulder and you flinched again. "(Y/n)..." Sam said softly. "No, Sam it's ok I get it you were just telling the truth. I'll leave if you want me to. Ok, I can just go. I know I'm not very useful around here, just don't get mad at me ok. I'm leaving. I promise." you blurted out before moving away from him beginning to grab your things. Your anxiety rose as you felt your chest tighten. You had no clue what was going on now. You were scared, and it all just hit you like a wave. You started to shake, and tears fogged your vision.

"Hey, no I don't want yo to leave ok. I need you here, you are more than useful we need you here to help us even get through the day." Sam tried to reason with you not realizing that his louder voice made your heartbeat speed up. Suddenly you drop to the ground, you immediately curl into yourself. Sam immediately dropped beside you. Knowing exactly what was going on, he reached for your hands. You pulled them away "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." You repeated breathlessly to him. "No. No hey, look at me. Look at me. I'm not upset with you."He said trying and succeeding to grab ahold of your smaller hands. Your eyes flutter open and tears stream down your face. You're desperately trying to catch your breath as you look at your boyfriend. Looking at his eyes you can see no hate or anger. You just see him. His worry being hidden behind a calm face. "Breathe with me (y/n). Breath with me." He said and started to squeeze your hand in time with his breathing. You begin to follow the pattern and slowly gain your breath back. Your vision is still cloudy and you're shaky. He gently pulled your hands and pulled you into his lap.

"He gently holds you to his chest and rocks you. You wipe your eyes and look up at him. "Did I do something wrong Sam?" you breathed out. He looked down at you with sad eyes. He looked disappointed in himself. "No babe, you didn't do anything wrong. I've just been on edge lately. I've been scared and upset, I've been throwing my emotions at you and I'm so sorry." he said his voice was so heavy-hearted. "Sammy, I'm here for you to talk to, not to be a verbal punching bag." You said to him.

He looked as if he was about to cry now. "I know. I'm sorry... I know that's not enough, but I want things to be ok. I'll make them ok." he said you looked up at him and gave a weak smile but nodded. "I know you will... We'll be ok." you said before pressing a kiss to his jaw.