make me

31-invisible stains

I really didn't know if this theory was correct, but if I thought about all the small hints Raven had given me, it's the only one that would make sense.

When I finished the book, I looked at the time an noticed it was 2:30. I still had a lot of time to spend, so I decided I would take a lighter book and read it outside. This time, I chose one that talked about a group a teenagers running away from a society that tried conforming them into what they believed was right.

I went in Raven's room and opened the door that led outside. I honestly never noticed the door there, it had curtains over it and I taught it was simply a window, but turns out it wasn't.

The balcony had a gazebo with two small couch facing each other with a table in between them. I wanted more sun so I decided I would take some pillows on the couches and put them on the floor. I sat down on them and read the 300 page book to about the middle.

Since I had gotten bored, I closed the book and went back inside, it was about 4 pm at this time. I watched tv a little bit, then got bored again. I went to the kitchen when I noticed I hadn't eaten yet, I prepared myself soup with a grilled cheese, thinking about Raven and why she was this way. I had gotten lost in my thoughts so much that, when I flipped my grilled cheese, it was burnt on one side. I shrugged it off and ate it anyways, still disgusted at the taste thought.

I finished my meal, cleaned everything I had used and went in the living room. I sat there in silence, wondering about what to do next. I started to think about my life and became depressed. I didn't want to live like this, always in a home with an abusive psycho who I had grown attached to or alone. Raven had put me through so much, but sadly, I had no capacity to do anything about it, I was trapped here, forced to do whatever she pleased and it infuriated me.

My eyes started to tingle, tears threatening to fall down and I didn't stop them. I let my cheeks get wet, sobbing about everything I had been through; the rape, the beating, the abuse, the embarrassment... drunk on my feelings, I noticed the shelf with all the liquor on it. I got up took a bottle and poured myself a glass.

I had never gotten drunk before, ironic when one of your parent's an alcoholic, but I never had the permission to take booze from her stash and if I even tried touching a bottle she would have noticed and I would've gotten beat, so of course, I let go of that possibility. Besides that, she's dead now, so what could she possibly do?

But now, I had all of the liquor to myself and I didn't care about the consequences. I lifted my glass in the air and shouted with tears running down my face: "to my life, hoping it will end soon!"

I took a sip of the drink, scrunching my face at the taste, but swallowing anyways and smiled. I took the remote continuing with my drinking, and put music on. I danced and sang, drinking my feelings away.

I had taken four or five drinks and got hot, so like a drunk woman would, I took off my clothes and continued dancing naked in front of the windows, it's not like anyone would've seen me and plus I was so drunk, I wouldn't have cared even if I was in front of a crowd. I continued filling up my glass and dancing, smiling and enjoying myself for once, it felt warm.

The night had taken place, but I wasn't ready to go back to sleep, so I continued doing what I was doing and forgot about Raven, forgot about everything. Minutes passed and I heard a car come up the small path leading to the house, happy to finally see my lover again, forgetting all of the bad things that could happen to me, but honestly I was so drunk I couldn't even feel myself when I had fallen on the floor.

The music was blasting, I turned around to see Raven in the doorway with her eyes wide open, my drunk-self decided it would be a good idea to invite her to come dance with me, so I did. She got closer to me, and with my eyes closed I clung to her and danced. We synced our dancing and kissed each other, I appreciated the moment even more.

Unsure, Raven grabbed my side and touched my body, making sure she would give a bit of attention to every sensitive part of me, she kissed my neck, bitting it slightly, then she parted herself from me and lifted her eyebrow.

"What? Don't you like what you seee?" I said, showing off my body in a drunk manner.

"Oh, of course I do my love, I'm just wondering why the blood isn't bothering you... that's all" she shrugged it off and continued dancing.

"What blood?" I asked panicking a bit.

"The one I'm covered in." I opened my eyes and concentrated all my might on her and noticed her blood stained clothes and skin. My eyes grew wide open as I panicked, I looked at myself and noticed I was also covered in it. My heart was beating so fast, I felt like it would come out of my mouth, I started crying, flashbacks coming from when I got beaten by that man, the sight of seeing myself on the floor covered in my own blood came back into my mind, I became dizzy and my hearing started fading out as well as my vision. I felt hands trying to grab me so I screamed, jerked myself away and bumped my head onto something really hard. A beep resonated in my ears, my eyes closed and I fell into what felt like a deep slumber.

I woke up in Raven's bed, cleaned and dressed. I looked around me, seeing a plate of food sitting on the nightstand and Raven by my side. I tried getting up, but as soon as I did a horrible headache took over me.

"No, no lay back down. You hurt your head really bad yesterday. I called a doctor, he'll come later today to help you, but as for now, how are you feeling?" Raven asked me, worry painted all over her face.

"I'm fine... I'm sorry for what I did yesterday, I swear I wont do it again..." I said, embarrassment taking over my mind.

"It's okay, I understand why you did that, but for now try not thinking to much, okay? Eat a bit, too." She brought the plate to me and gave me a fork.

"Will you punish me?" I asked with small tears in my eyes.

"No, I won't, so stop worrying and eat, Bee." I did as I was told and tried forgetting what I had the done the night before.