make me

54- elizabeth

Maybe, just MAYBE, this was going to work.

I woke up with Raven bringing me to the bed. I have some faint memories of her trying to wake me up, but I think I was too tired to even mutter a word.

Raven laid me on the bed and changed my clothes so I would be in pyjamas and then, she came next to me and took me in her arms.

I fell back asleep quickly, matching my breathing to hers and feeling for once... at home. It had been a while that I haven't felt good somewhere. Even being at my real home with my parents didn't feel welcoming, but that's probably because I wasn't. It's not a national secret that my parents hated me...

I woke up in the middle of the night, because I couldn't feel Raven next to me. I looked at the alarm clock next to the bed and noticed it was 3 in the morning.

I got up with weak legs and tired eyes to go see on the balcony. The door was slightly opened, so I assumed Raven would be there.

When I turned the corner leading to outside, I saw raven's silhouette sitting at the small table. She was holding a cigarette while looking at the sky.

When my body peaked outside, her eyes darted themselves to me. She wasn't expressing any emotions as to what I could see, but I felt like she was fighting a hurricane inside of her mind.

"Come sit," she said, pulling a chair out for me. I sat next to her as she was looking at me with an intense gaze.

"You think I'm weak, don't you, Bee?" She asked out of no where.

"I- uhhh... what do you mean?" I was taken aback from the sudden question and I didn't quite know how to answer that.

"You think that I'm weak, because of all the things I did to you and the way I react to things, is that right?" She didn't seem angry. She was looking at me with her peircing gaze, looking more aware and understanding of the fact that the way I saw her, wasn't the way she wanted it.

In fact, I guess I did find her weak, but I don't know half of the things she went through, I can't make assumptions off of that. It's more that I don't understand her. I know for a fact that I would never act like she did, I would kill myself before getting to that point. Maybe that makes her stronger than me, that even after turning like that, she could still look back on it and forgive herself.

"Bee... I've been, through years of torture and years of abuse. I know what I did to you was bad, but I lived through that for more than you could ever imagine... I'm not trying to get your pity nor am I saying that I have a reason for acting the way I did, but trust me when I say, the way I acted with you was simply a reflection of what I thought I deserved." She took a puff of her cigarette and looked at the moon shining.

"But Raven, how could you do something like that? You never promised yourself to never end up like that or something?" I asked out of pure curiosity. I wasn't trying to make her feel bad or anything, I just needed to understand.

"When you get turned, it's easy to think like a human, because you were one not a long time ago. But when years and years pass, when you get taken as a prisoner until you can't show an ounce of humanity, you forget... you forget what it was like being human and having emotions other than culpability. You forget how to love and you forget that, you were once human, too." I looked to the side, and deeply, I was afraid. No. I was petrified. Would that ever happen to me? Will I lose sight of my humanity one day?

"I really hope that will never happen to you, Bee, and I promised myself to never let anyone take you, not over my dead body. I don't dont want you to live through what I did... it's..." I could see her eyes beginning to glaze, like she was going to cry soon, "It's awful..." her voice cracked due to the fact she was holding in so many emotions.

"I never talked to anyone about this, even to Elizabeth... she was truly something. I remember the first time I saw her. I guess I never told you about this, but in my human years, I was born as a viking. My real name is Liv actually... it means "full of life", kind of ironic, right?" She chuckled, looking down at the ground as she was remembering a whole other period of her life. "The day I met her, we were raiding a village, and as I had become way stronger, this was after I had been taken in by the scientists, I was on the front lines with Amos and Polly. King had ordered us to take everything that was valuable, so that's what we did. But when I got into one of the houses there, I saw Elizabeth, she must've been 12 at that time, and she was kneeling next to her mother's lifeless body. I guess one of the vampires helping us had already passed there and decided it was time for lunch or something..." she paused, and smiled softly, "and when I looked at her, she ran into a corner and closed her eyes while she whimpered for me to go away. But that day, after hundreds of years of killing without mercy, I had a drop of humanity that told me to save her..."

"What made you do it?" I asked Raven.

"She reminded me of myself... I saw her scared eyes and my heart ached, it was like, I had to save her so I could be at peace with myself and people that left me in the dark... I had to prove to myself, that I could still be good."