Hetalia Stuff

PruCan Oneshot

"If anyone dares to call you or me about work now, I will go all the way to their country and murder them with my own two hands." With this declaration, a door was thrown open to a peaceful little cottage somewhere out in the nature beauty that is Canada.

Said country had a personification, who was not the one who declared the death threat nor opened the door, but rather chuckled quietly and said they would likely do the same. As said Canadian shut the door, like a normal person though, mind you, there was another loud declaration from their companion; "No! Kuma, NO! Do not touch my bag! It will literally explode if you do!"

Their... Loud companion was also somehow their husband, Gilbert Beilschmidt, personification of Prussia, last expected person on this planet to end up with Matthew Williams, personification of Canada, by many people, but ah well, fate works in funny ways. "Kuma" was Matthew's casual grown-ass polar bear. It was a cub once, but no longer. It still is friendly and peaceful, though.

"Gil, nothing in your bag is going to explode, unless you've decided to bring a bomb." Matthew reasoned with a good-natured eye roll. Gilbert, who had already stood on the arm of the couch holding said bag above his head while Kuma nudged his leg, shook his head. "I didn't, but you never know!"

The polar bear eventually deemed this albino too much for him and went over to nuzzle and greet his owner instead, who gladly petted him and scratched behind his ears. Gilbert jumped down, going to another room in which he neatly set his bag in the corner of.

What is in that bag is a mystery.

"WE LEAVE FOR A WEEK, AND THERE'S ALREADY A SPIDER CHILLING IN THE BEDROOM!" Another casual overdramatic yell. Matthew, more than used to them by now, contemplated the size of the poor spider that was probably being traumatised by now. He walked into the bedroom, and sure enough, there was a thin, feeble grey spider that was barely visible on Gilbert's pale, ashy hand.

"Just leave it be, it's a tiny one." Matthew said as he literally squinted to see it properly, even with glasses on. How Gilbert, who didn't have the best vision but refused to wear glasses or contact lenses, even saw it on the floor in the first place was beyond him.

Gilbert clicked his tongue then set the spider on the window ledge, or at least tried to, for now it clung to his fingers. Scowling, he shook his hand lightly, but the arachnid still hung on stubbornly. "It's going to raise it's kids on me." He said solemnly, and Matthew had a momentary crisis on whether to laugh or facepalm. He settled for something of both.

~~~~A one-hour interval, but it's not so bad because you get to know Kuma's thoughts, which are; "What the fuck did my owner marry and why? Like, I expected better from you."~~~

"Onions are evil. Why aren't you the one cutting them? You have glasses for protection." Gilbert said, rubbing at an eye with the heel of his palm. "Glasses don't do much, and you said your awesomeness could handle onions, so..." Matthew replied with a small, bemused smile.

"It can! My tear glands are just being unawesome." The Prussian grumbled as he chopped up the last of them, then took a good few steps back from the so-called evil vegetable. "Next time, I'm cutting potatoes." He stated, and the Canadian laughed lightly as he turned around from his own chopping bored to see Gilbert hastily wiping away onion-induced tears, mumbling German swears and some more creative insults in High Prussian.

"Aw, did the onions really hurt you that bad?" Matthew cooed, and Gilbert flushed red in embarrassment. "Shut up, they are evil, and they make my eyes sweat." He protested, and the taller blonde shrugged, turning back around. "I was going to give you a hug to help, but since your eyes are only swe-" He never got to finish his sentence because the shorter albino had already hugged him from behind, still muttering some choice words.