My Ranting Place

Forgiveness

Theme: a) Forgiving yourself requires sheerstregnth and is not easy at all.
b) "You are a prisoner of your own mind".
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As another wave of overwhelming tears hit my high cheekbones, I once again rubbed my eyes raw in a futile attempt to make them cease their relentless release.

The remorse, the guilt was consuming me even though I knew what happened was unintentional and I never wanted her to land in the ER. The harsh words of people felt like jabs to me. Even I myself knew I shouldn't have attended a phonecall and drove the care side by side - which landed the two of us in an accident - but what happened is something I cannot change; no matter how much I want to.

My phone dings: 'She is asking for you again. When are you coming to meet her? You do know she is getting discharged tomorrow, right?'

Her younger sister's name sat calmly at the top of the chatbox.

I knew with her getting better the anger of everyone had melted away and they had forgiven me.

But how was I supposed to forgive myself for the six days coma she was in?

I buried my face in between my bent knees as I sat on the floor and heaved another onslaught of sobs.

Forgiving yourself is one of the hardest things to do.
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Hajirah Writes