Merlin's magic (Oneshots) 1

Princess

A.N.:// WARNINGS!!!!

Mentions of transphobia, and good Uther Pendragon lmao./ Deadnaming
Also Merlin has some personal issues about periods. The title is ironic. Because that's what Gwaine calls Arthur at the beginning.... and the end. But you'll see.

About Merlin's character:

Not all women have periods. Not all men don't.
Merlin certainly has them. Though it's more or less implied rather than actively talked about.
(Merlin can - however - control them through his magic a little. Which is not accurate, to those of you who don't know. :) But merlin is special in many ways.)

Magic is used as a replacement for hormones as well. And Merlin transitioned with it's help. (He is a trans man / ftm / Afab.)
In additio, he also underwent top surgery. Which is something Gaius and Merlin worked out together. Also a mix of Gaius experience as court physician and Merlin's magic.
Gaius invented hormon injections for Merlin.
(His magic worked as hormon blockers for a while. To actively change his body, he needed the injections.)

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I also want to note that my knowledge about these topics aren't zero, but they are limited. I did a lot of research. And I tried to position myself into the situation of Merlin and Ygraine sperately. As their experiences are very different.

It's a story designed to understand how gender dysphoria and receiving transphobic comments feel.
I will say now, that it's totally possible that the feelings written here are exaggerated and/or romanticised and may not reflect what it actually feels like at all. Or they do and I'm just insecure.
Either way. You are valid as a person. No matter what is written here.
And let me know, if I did something extremely inaccurate or anything like that. I will either make a following chapter, where I will address my mistakes. Or I will take the story down.
Thank you in advance for respecting that I am only human as well :)
These topics are important to me. And I want to get them right.



IMPORTANT EDIT: 

 In the story, Uther referrs to Merlin as "being cursed at birth to be born in the wrong body". To clarify: Being trans is NOT a curse.
I did not reedit the part, despite being made aware of the problem, because the reaction still fits to Uther's character and it may still be true to some people.
You're valid and beautiful people and the only curse you're under is other people's ignorance and blatant hatred against you.
I apologize for my mistake.

PRINCESS:

It wasn't warm, where he slept. Not really. He could feel the ground underneath the small mat he was sleeping on. It smelled like the fire that the last watch kept lit.
It smelled like dry leafs and burned socks.
(After spending weeks with the knights - Merlin could tell which socks belonged to who, based on the burned smell alone. These were definitely Gwaine's.)
Someone was cursing under their breath.

Merlin rolled back into himself. He could feel an annoying pain in his abdomen coming up. It felt sharp, like his insides were trying to stab him. Which was never a fun feeling to wake up with.
Merlin must say, he would have preferred a knife causing the pain. At least that wouldn't have been his own body turning against him. 'Already?', he thought and grimaced in his sleep.

He took a deep breath and muttered something into his blanket. Eyes closed, so nobody could hear what he said or see the gold flashing through his irises.
He willed he pain away. As he always did this time of the month. He willed the REASON for his pain away. His magic allowed him that. His magic made it leave. Eased it.
He knew more than enough people who would be jealous of this ability. He himself was more than thankful for it. Especially, since he knew he was the only person on the entire planet who could actively control his body like this.
This ability was like a dream. Privy only to him.