Black String Of Fate

Chapter 22

Jin sat in the same place, staring at the ground with blank eyes. As the sun rays hit his face, he blinked his eyes first time, realising that it was already morning. He somehow got up and managed himself, gathering his broken self, getting ready for his first day at work.

Though he had no so motivation, he still wanted to prove. He wanted to make himself feel important at least to himself and pushed himself to go. He hadn't eaten a bite since the last night and didn't feel like eating. He washed up and drove to his office, trying hard to put on a smile.

Every time he tried to smile, his eyes watered looking at himself in the mirror. His wounds were fresh and it didn't look like they were going to heal anytime soon. He took a deep breath and pushed his tears back, keeping a professional smile just so he didn't make a wrong impression on his very first day.

Luckily, his colleagues were good people and warmly welcomed him. They all congratulated him and even made sure that he was comfortable. Jin was hesitant, forcing himself to remember that he didn't deserve it at all. He forced himself to think that they all probably pitied him seeing his pathetic self.

That thought gave him comfort. He felt there wasn't any need to show his worth to the world, he wasn't worthy of being noticed. Negative thoughts ran in his head, pushing his self confidence to the lowest. Like a lifeless doll, Jin worked the whole day without taking a break. He didn't even bother to eat his lunch.

His colleagues all had asked him to join them for the lunch but when Jin refused saying he had work to do, they just left him alone, thinking he still needed time to adjust with them. Though Jin was polite and calm he still tried to keep himself and not get noted for any reason.

Jin tried his best to keep his head empty and focus on the work but how could he, when the dark voice were screaming in his head to just give up on himself ? But Jin was strong, he wanted to show that he was strong not knowing how tough the battle with himself was gonna be till the end.

The day ended and Jin felt dread washing over him. He didn't want to go back, he had no confidence to face Namjoon. He was scared to death but had no option to go anywhere else. Dragging himself, he walked to their shared home. There was 10 steps left when he couldn't move. He stood frozen in his place, feeling breathless.

Instead, he turned around and walked in the opposite direction of the house, unaware of guilty Namjoon waiting for him to apologize. Jin was still recovering from the shock he got from his own boyfriend. He went in the direction of the park and stood in front of it staring at the empty ground.

He walked to the swings and sat down staring at his legs. He remembered the incident of the last time that he had visited with Namjoon. Unconsciously a tear rolled down his smooth skin followed by many more. The passerby ignored his crying and walked away. Jin couldn't stop his cries anymore.

He cried for a good hour until tears stopped coming out. His face red with eyes swelled and puffy. Glancing at his watch, he saw it was close to 12 and bit his lips in thought, thinking if Namjoon had gone to bed. He had no heart to see Namjoon anymore. Hesitantly he got up and walked to his house, praying for Namjoon to be asleep.

And his prayers were heard, Namjoon fell asleep on the couch in front of the TV which had some show playing on it. Jin slowly passed by Namjoon and went to his room, changing and doing his routine, he slept cautiously, thinking that Namjoon would come in. Not wanting to take risk, he locked the door.

The whole night he couldn't sleep, having too many thoughts running in his head. He felt disgusted at himself, cursing for being so weak that he couldn't even stand for himself. Jin just wanted a peaceful life with a good family and peaceful job and nice friends. He realized he had nothing except for friends.