Lost in Lust ✔️

Chapter _30_

Kaylee's POV:

When do you know that you have crossed a line after which there is no going back?

I remember him telling me once that I wasn't even aware that some things had already started to change. He was right. One of those things is me.

Little by little, something was changing inside me and I was not able to accept it.

It started with a small hole that widened more and more every day, until one day it swallowed me whole. And then I fell into a vortex. Swirling, confusing, mind consuming vortex.

The truth is that I was not able to accept the truth. 

Until now.

If you change the way you look at things-the things you look at change.

We got home, and as he got out of the car, he turned briefly and looked at me. Sad, baring his soul to me. I saw no anger in his eyes. I saw one naked soul who wants the same as everyone else, to be loved, accepted, despite what he is.

Silently we climbed into the room, everyone went to their side and without words we were getting ready for bed.

I went to bed and some guilt started flowing through my body. The truth is, I misled him. I was not able to accept my feelings.

Can two diametrically opposed people succeed together? To overcome all differences? Me on the side of justice he on the other side of the law?

I didn't think this was going to happen to me.

But Life is What Happens To You While You're Busy Making Other Plans.

Can we succeed without destroying each other?

My thoughts and inner turmoil disappeared when I saw him. He sat on the edge of the bed. The dim light of the lamp illuminated his naked torso. He stuck his head in his palms and ran both hands through his hair, as if he wanted to shake all the stress out of his head. He turned off the light and lay down.

We both lay, staring at the ceiling. With eyes wide open.

Darkness surrounded us like an enemy army. But in that darkness I opened the windows of my soul for the first time.

Under the covers, I slipped the sheets with my palms and reached his hands. I slowly ran my fingers over it and intertwined my fingers with his. At first his hand was lifeless, but after a few moments he squeezed it tightly. We were holding hands and touching our hearts.

We didn't look at each other, we didn't move, but we were closer than ever.

This will be a thorny path, a difficult path, we will lose ourselves, we will find ourselves. Is it worth taking a risk and trying? Or never even try and always wonder what could have been?. . .the heart wants what it wants.

As I was falling asleep with his hand in mine,I thought to myself

"Your hand will guide mine where I've never been before,

where the mornings are dreamy and the sky is like silk."

. . . tomorrow is a new day. 

Good thing this "new day" is actually Saturday, because the stabbing pain in my head was unbearable.

Mental note to myself

"No more drinking."

I was alone in the bed. I tried to get up, but the sharp pain that cut through my forehead was paralyzing. I just covered my head with a pillow.

After a million attempts to get out of bed, I finally gathered my strength and, like a real soldier, marched to the bathroom to get myself in order.

I put on black leggings and a T-shirt and headed for the kitchen. As I searched a medicine for my headache, out of the corner of my eye I saw Noah coming out of his studyroom.

I didn't even have time to think about what our first meeting would be like, after yesterday's time bomb that exploded between us.

How should I behave? Relaxed? Reserved? Tic- tac, tic-tac!

Stop overthinking and go with the flow at least once!

''Good morning''

I said for lack of other words.

''Good morning to you too. Are you looking for something? "

"Just some medicine for my headache . I want to get out of my skin for how much my head is throbbing. I will never drink again - that much. "

I said grabbing my head. He smiled sweetly and leaned his elbows on the marble island.

'' Exaggeration is harmful in all cases, even when it is effective. But who am I to talk about exaggeration and the use of excessive force. "

He had a pensive and amused expression on his face as he took a bite of apple.

"Let's leave that story for another time."

I rolled my eyes and leaned against the island across from him.

"Your medicine is in the second drawer. Now I have to go. I have a lot of work to do. "

"I believe a man like you doesn't even have a weekend for himself."

"A man like me can make a weekend in the middle of the week, if he wants. But still, some things are a higher priority and require my presence. "

He wanted to go, but he looked at me deeply and spoke

"Do you want to wait for me? I'd love to take you somewhere tonight. "

An unvolutary smile escaped my lips.

"I would love that."