Lost in Lust ✔️

Chapter _42_

Noah's POV:

On the way home we did not say a single word. Silence enveloped us like a veil. I stayed in the living room to gather my thoughts and she retreated to the bedroom.

I didn't know what to do. I was not allowed to put pressure on her, because she was not able to bear it. She was fragile and the memories threatened to return to her in great style.

I waited for about two hours and when I was sure she was already asleep, I went to the room.

I slowly opened the door and found her asleep and squatting on her part of the bed. I changed and lay down.

I couldn't sleep that night. What will she decide? I waited on the guillotine naked and only hers, because she was my executioner.

Sometime in the middle of the night, she began to spin restlessly on the bed, crying in her sleep and raving. Peas of sweat trickled down her face and it was painful to watch her hunched body.

I approached her slowly and hugged her. At my move, she screamed loudly, tearing herself away from my embrace. She fell off the bed, hugged her knees and began to cry and sob loudly.

I quickly turned on the light and approached her.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine."

I tried to hug her but she shot me a look

"I don't want you to come near to me."

And she stuck her head in her chest. I froze. I fainted. OF this point, I was scared.

"It was dreadfull to hear what kind of life I had, what kind of life we ​​had and what how we lived. But it's even scarier to see those pictures in front of you. Remember everything, relive everything. "

She said with indignation in her voice. I couldn't say anything.

"I want to get out of this house tomorrow. This is too much for me right now. I need time to process myself and think about everything. "

I just nodded.

"And now please leave me alone."

Silently and sluggishly, I left the room. I lay on the couch in the living room, afraid she would run away during the night. That I never see her again.

The morning dawned and I did not close my eyes. I heard footsteps. She went downstairs, carrying a small travel bag. She stood in front of me.

"My apartment is full of unpleasant memories for me right now. I'm going to Freya's. "

She looked at me deeply and devastatingly.

''Stay.''

I said. She just closed her eyes, a tear slipping down her cheek and turning her back on me.

Kaylee's POV:

It's been three weeks since I left Noah. That's exactly what I was supposed to do, right? On conscience. But somehow that seemingly right decision, over time, didn't seem right to me.

I had nightmares almost every night and the only thing I wanted when I woke up was to be hugged by his strong arms. I had a hard fight with myself. I thought I had made the right decision, but it clashed with my feelings.

The key to happiness is letting each situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be.

I thought as I stared at the ceiling. I eventualy went back to work, but I was coming back at my own pace. Other lawyers took over part of my business until my complete recovery.

Lost in my thoughts, I was interrupted by the sound of the phone. Message.

I jumped out of bed, the pressure in my chest coming in because I was hoping the message was from him.

I carefully turned on the screen and saw Freya's name.

I'll be home in half an hour and bring us a burrito. Don't eat anything until then!

I was disappointed. Should this be felt by the person who is the one who left?

The screen lit up again.

What does she want now, to tell me that she will bring Coca- Cola with a burrito?

I thought as I opened the message.

It was a song by Charles Bukowski

'' The miracles in the shortest time, Charles Bukowski

you know it was very good,
it was better than anything.
It was like something
we could pick up,
hold, look at
and then laugh about.

We were on the moon
we were in the god damned moon,
we had it.
we were in the garden
we were in the endless pit
never such a place as that.
it was deep and it was light
and it was high
it got so near
to insanity.
we laughed so hard
your laughter and mine.
I remember when your eyes
said love loudly 

now as these walls so quietly shift.''

I took a picture from the cupboard, which I took from the drawer when I left. I hugged it tightly.