Imagines/Short Stories: Paul, Embry, and Seth (2020)

Authors Note

So, I just need a venting moment here...

I have been hella stressed lately. Long story short, I have epilepsy ( I have grand mal absentee seizures) and I continue to succeed and thrive in life with it, regardless of how hard it is. But recently, I had to go on medical leave and short-term disability at both of my jobs (I work 2 part-time) because I have been showing signs of having seizures and I am now restricted from driving, swimming, operating a vehicle, or climbing a latter.

I am now on the verge of freaking out and my family can't seem to understand because I already had 2 EEGs (" sleep study" test basically. One was an hour and the other one was 72 hours) and they both came up negative for seizures. Which would be great, if I wasn't still showing signs of having seizures.

Now I must have an EMU (you are admitted to the hospital for a few days to a week and they monitor your activity to see where your seizures could be stemming from) and although I am grateful for the next steps, there's a major issue at hand...

I. Don't. Have. Money. (Which is why I have 2 jobs but I still don't get paid enough)

I am grateful for the insurance I have from one of my jobs because all I pay is 20% of the bill at my neurologist office, HOWEVER, my first EEG that was an hour was $325 and I paid $65 + $10 copay. It hurt my pockets, yes, but I was okay.

Then I had the second EEG that was a 72-hour test...that bitch was $3,750 because I hat to do this for 3 days and the little machine, they gave me was $1,400 alone. You know how much I had to pay.... $750. And they wanted that upfront. I was able to convince them half ( plus the copay) but still!

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE

With this upcoming EMU that's happening on the 9th of November, I decided to, obviously, look it up and, of course, the maximum it could be is $40,000. And the max I would have to pay is $8,000! I can't do this! Especially with a small amount coming in from one of my jobs.

So not only is the financial part killing me and causing me stress but being in the unknown with everything is too! I hate this! My friends and family don't seem to understand that If this comes up negative and I'm still having these issues, then I don't know what could be going on. This sucks completely! I don't want to take out loans because I already have student loans. I don't want to tap into my savings, but damn...

Writing is becoming an outlet more and more lately, which is great, but I have been getting so anxious and depressed and withdrawn from the stress of everything that I find myself having a hard time conveying words onto my computer. I will try, but I don't know. I am working on a Seth series (or at least attempting to) but we'll see.

At this point, I just ask to send me requests. If you want to do a commission one, I literally cut that shit into half...Literally. Or if you're going to do the other one, that's fine. I need more distraction because I am about to lose my shit. 

Thanks!

-YAP