A Spy Among Them (ShinsoxBakugoxDabixAizawaxReader and more..)

Ch. 31 Just a Kiss

I was going to have to break his heart.

Looking at Shinso's face as he slept, I assumed that he was going to want to have "the talk" when he woke up. The state of our relationship talk. The "what are we now" talk. I knew it in the car on the way home, I knew it when he held me after we had sex for the third (or was that fourth?) time last night. I'd known it for awhile. Thinking back, he'd made his feelings clear weeks ago, and now, after last night, I assume that he probably thought we were together now.

What had I done?

After all, I wasn't at UA to find a boyfriend.

I was there to help protect people, protect young heroes, by finding the leak.

I wanted to call him mine, I really did. But there was just no way to know what my future was going to look like.

There were powerful players involved now, maybe more powerful than I even realized. Heck, I didn't even know the identity of the people I was ultimately working for. Given what I had seen Hawks involved in last night, I knew that I was going to have to mix with some dangerous people to get any kind of real information.

I had woken up before Shinso to the sound of texts, most of them being dumb memes from Hawks. I didn't even know he had my number, but it felt very on-brand for him to try to joke his way out of a serious conversation. And Hawks and I definitely needed to have a serious conversation. I messaged him that I would talk later and then turned off my phone.

I didn't need any distractions for what was coming next.

One of the things I liked most about Shinso, besides his big hands, and deep voice, and intelligence, and gentleness, and... I could keep going. But one of those things was that I felt like I could be myself around him because he wasn't with me for any reason other than just wanting to be with me.

The idea of putting a label on our relationship was unfortunately impossible right now, especially when the future was so murky, with so many moving pieces and dangerous players.

But as I dreaded the coming conversation, Shinso snuggled against me, wrapping his whole body around me. It was more than a hug; his hands felt like they were gripping me to keep me in place.

He must have felt me wiggling. "I'm holding you tight so you can't go anywhere," he mumbled, his voice half-awake.

"Where would I be going?"

"Hell if I know. But I'm not letting you get away."

I chuckled. "At some point, you have to let me get up."

"No, I don't," he said, wrapping his arms around me tighter.

"Yes, you do. I have ways of making you move," I snickered, starting to tickle any piece of skin I could get my hands on. He laughed, his deep, throaty laugh, briefly releasing his hold on me. He laid back on the bed, and I smiled at the sight of this man naked under my sheets.

I could tell he was about to ask it.

"So," he asked, "what's next for... us?"

There it was.

I took a deep breath.

I was ready.

I could do this.

"Shinso...This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me." Because you're perfect and I'm a mess. "I just don't want a boyfriend right now." Even though I want nothing more than to see you waking up in my bed every morning. "So let's just keep this casual, okay?" Because I know I'm going to hurt you.