Open Heart AU 1 (Ethan Ramsey x Valerie Valentine)

Playing With Fire: AU1 Chapter 45

Ethan

After making some coffee, I stood leaning against the kitchen island, watching Valerie as she sat crossed legged at the table with her original copy of 'Diagnostics Principles' from me, her notes, and a medical dictionary.

Her hair sat precariously on top of her head in a bun, curls spilling from every direction. Her brow, knitted slightly. Her teeth biting into her lip in concentration. She looks...

conflicted....

and tired.

"Valerie?" I raised a brow.

She looked up, her brow becoming relaxed but still holding her lip in her teeth.

"Yeah?"

"... Are you alright?"

It was at this moment that I saw the extent everything had taken a toll on her...her eyes looking weary, her cheeks just a little flushed, and the small cut on her lip from her biting habit...

"Um.. Well.. Yeah. Of course I am." she smiled, laughing nervously before returning to her work.

I made my way over and she didn't look up, forcing herself not to because she and I both know, the moment I see her eyes, I'll see right through her facade.

"How many hours have you slept?"

"Eight."

"V."

"Six?"

"Valentine."

I raised my brow and she sighed, gesturing in the air. "Two or three, give or take."

I took the seat opposite and asked "Have you eaten today?"

"An apple."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Oh and some raisins! A kid in paediatrics doesn't like them so he gave them to me." she smiled.

"That's... great Rookie, but you and I both know as doctors, that an apple and raisins isn't enough for a doctor... For anyone..." I placed my hand over her writing one, and instinctively and automatically, she took it, as if she was waiting for someone to hold onto....

Her eyes remained cast down, before quietly she said "...Ethan? "

"Hm? "I tilted my head as she continued to watch our hands.

"... It's okay to not be okay... Isn't it?"

" Of course... Your feelings are valid..."

she looked up and nodded before glancing down again, shifting in her seat.

"I can't help but feel selfish...for being scared and nervous, about you and about Edenbrook. Kyra....she's going through the absolute worst thing, and yet..." she took a deep breath and I squeezed her hand.

"-and yet, im stressing about things that are so insignificant compared to her fight...

"Valentine, You are the least selfish person I know." I caught her gaze.

She shook her head and picked up her pen.

"I appreciate it, E, but I can't be."

I sighed and said "Your feelings are valid. You are allowed to be upset with everything that's going on, You're only human, Valerie." I held her hand a little firmer before getting up.

I pressed a kiss to the top of her head and said "Stop being so hard on yourself. that's my job."

That bought a small smile from her, in which I returned, gently brushing her cheek with my thumb before I went back to the kitchen.