To Be or Not To Be

Thirty Eight

The funeral was too hard on me. Everyone kept telling me that things will get better but how could it? I wouldn't have my mom's cooking anymore. I wouldn't have my dad walk down the aisle with me. This was all too much for me. The gathering after the funeral was at the Kindell's house. I was standing on the balcony in mine's and Brennan's room.

"I thought I'd find you here," I looked over to see Chris standing behind me.

"Hey, Chris," I acknowledged.

"Did you want alone time? I just wanted to make sure that you weren't going to do anything stupid," Chris said.

"I'm fine. You can stay if you want," I offered.

"I honestly don't know how you can stay so proper around these people," Chris told me.

"Years of practice," I slightly joked.

"Couldn't stand all the, I'm so sorry about your loss, sayings from everyone?" Chris asked me.

"No. I know they mean well but if people want me to move on, then they need to stop treating me like a fragile little thing," I tell her. Chris put her hand on my shoulder making me smile softly at her.

"So what are your plans now?" Chris asked me.

"I never really thought of it," I tell her.

"Oh. Sorry I asked. You don't have to think of an answer right away," Chris apologized.

"It's fine. I just, I didn't think much ahead during college and now that my parents are gone, I don't know what to do anymore," I tell her.

"Well, you're always welcome at my family's holiday parties," Chris offered.

"Thanks."

"Amara," I looked over to see Brennan standing nearby.

"Hey, Brennan."

"I will leave you two alone. Do you want a drink or anything though?" Chris asked me.

"I'm fine."

"Okay," Chris nodded before walking away.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Brennan.

"I wanted to tell you that the lawyer will have everything ready for you by the time we get back to New York," Brennan said.

"Thanks for helping me with all this. I wouldn't know where to begin for all this," I tell him.

"I'm here for you, Amara. And I will always be here for you," Brennan told me.

"I guess I have to start packing everything up from my house huh?" I asked him.

"We can put all of the stuff in a storage outlet so you can go back to it in the summer," Brennan offered.

"Yes please."

"Did you eat?" Brennan asked me.

"I had a sandwich down there. I wasn't really in a hungry mood."

"If you want to stay up here for the rest of the time, no one will blame you."

"I'll come back down in a bit. I just need a moment to myself for a bit," I tell him.

"Okay. Well, whenever you're ready," Brennan told me before walking closer. He kissed the top of my head before walking away.