Firstly I just wanted to say was very pleased with the entries for task 2 and thought all of you had handed in great work. For this task many of you did even better! Keep up the good work!
Jay Calder. Very good. A few mistakes from writing it hastily. I like the memory he had just before he drifted off. good job! 8
Seaver Parish. Very good! I really enjoyed the "game" between Seaver and Occisora it was lke a tennis match watching the ball of power go back and forth. very good. 9
Tobias Haycraft. It's is good but I feel like it is not your best work. It seemed a bit more static than your previous entries. Less movement a bit more forced. 9
Ki Jepto. Good Job. You writing skills still have some way to go but they are very good. All you need is practice. There were a few mistakes you need to look out for but good job. 8
Jet Flash. It's good. I am a little bit disappointed though, it's quite short and ends quite abruptly. I feel that the part before he kills Occisora could be a bit more detailed and when and after he kills her could be as well. It's a shame because it stared so strongly. 7
Jasper Flint. Not bad. It felt a bit rushed and there are a lot of grammar mistakes but your writing is getting better, keep practicing. 6
Octavia Kingston. your writing is getting better. there are many mistakes in your grammar and it's spelled THEIR. It ends very abruptly you could have added more details. 6
Lumen Wye. Very good. I really liked how you had Occisora toy with Lumen. It ended ver abruptly though and I am unsure if he killed her or not.... Good job. 8
Miles WIlson. extention.
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Writers Games; Alliances
FanfictionThese are the Games where alliances are made and broken. Who can you trust? Who can't you turn your back to for a single second? To survive you must join forces but the people you choose to work with can get you killed. You must be sly and cunning...
