control || beth x benny

𝟐𝟔. The temptation

「 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎

𝚃𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛 」

20th November – 2 days until US Championship

The truth is, once you're addicted, you can't expel the addiction. At least, it was Beth's perspective. In her mind, she dominated her desire for pills and alcohol but deeply, Beth was aware that everyday would be a new fight to keep everything under control. Everyone has bad days and today, everything seemed to be tough than the usual. Maybe it was one of menstruation's side effects but particularly this time, Beth felt powerless like she was a spectator of her own life. Besides the acute pain in her stomach, she was thirsty. Usually, the first thing that would cross her mind was a cup of water but this time, after a long time, the image of satisfying the thirst with a Gibson felt delightful in her brain.

The clock marked 4 A.M which means that in one hour she could take one of her meds and eat something. Her face was slightly moist due to the terrible night in pain. Waiting one more hour wasn't an option. She felt bad for disturbing the hotel workers, but she was selfish enough to put her well-being first.

"Hello, miss Harmon. What can I help you?" A female voice sounded in the other line, making Beth feel a little bit relieved. Talking with a woman about her "problem" was more comfortable than with the opposite genre.

"H-Hi I'm sorry for calling so late but..." Beth took a deep breath, massaging her belly expecting to appease the pain "My menstruation came today and there's days where I can't stand up so I was hoping if you could provide me something to eat so I can take the medicaments."

"Sure, miss Beth. In teen minutes, I will drop your breakfast. Would you like me to use the master key, so you don't need to get up?" Her tone was comprehensive, making Beth feel a little better.

"Sure, thank you for your time."

Beth hung up the call, closing her eyes instantly. The pain was horrible but worst than that was the buried thoughts about alcohol, starting to reach the surface just because she was in pain due to her period which also made her more touchy. Beth putted in practice one of breathing exercises taught by Sophie to relax her muscles. As her body started to decompress, the eyelids closed slowly, trapping Beth into deep sleep.

A soft voice has spread in the room before she could open her eyes, a familiar smell was inhaled by her. The cherry compote and the milk with coffee made Beth relaxed and hungry. Her eyes blinked slowly in an attempt to stabilize her vision with the lighting in the room. As she sat down in the bed, her hazel eyes widened. She expected to see the owner of the that sweet and soft voice that treated her gently, not Benny Watts.

He was with his pajama and his hair was messy while his hands were grabbing the tray with the breakfast. His sleepy expression was accompanied with a little smile. He looked a little tired than usual in Beth's eyes but his smile and the way he was looking at her, expressed the opposite.

"Benny?" Her voice cracked between letters, making her clear the throat. "Why are you here?"

"I'm no longer a chess player. Living surrounded by food it's my dream." He joked, sitting in front of Beth. "How are you?" He landed the tray in Beth's legs, driving his hand to her forehead. "You don't seem to have fever." Benny whispered, narrowing his eyes.

"Why are you here?" Beth asked again, looking at him. He took slowly his hand from her, staring at her eyes.

"I was walking in the hall because I couldn't sleep and then I heard a girl talking with you. She seemed worry on the phone, so I asked if everything was alright and after a long time trying to persuade her, she told me that you are with 'that' thing." He emphasized the word 'that', making Beth smile. "So I offered to bring the breakfast because I don't trust in anyone and well," Benny stopped for a second, looking at her pale face "I was worried about you."

She couldn't look at him. She drove her hand to the back of the neck, while her eyes redirected to her blankets. Perplexity was the best word to describe the moment she was living right now. Never crossed her mind the idea of having Benny by her side, in the most painful moment of the month. She was sensible, fragile, and seeing him and knowing that wasn't a dream at all, made her emotional. She wanted to cry of happiness. For seconds, the pain was almost forgotten, and her alcohol desire dissipated from her body.

"Thank you." She mumbled, putting a lock of hair behind her ear, revealing the reddish tone that dominated her cheeks.

"Don't thank me, just eat everything. I almost forgot your condition when I saw that milk."

She laughed, wrapping her fingers around the hot mug. Her eyes closed briefly, enjoying the warmth emanated from the mug. Benny sat cross-legged in the bed, resting his chin in the hand, gazing at Beth that devoured the bread in minutes, making a subtle smile blossom in his face.

"Where's your pills?" He asked.

"Over there." She pointed to the dresser. Benny got up quickly, grabbing the box. "Thank you." Her hands placed the tray in the bedside, then grabbing the small packaging. It didn't take long to Beth swallow two of them and look at Benny whose was staring at her meticulously. "Is it something wrong with my face?" Her slender fingers touched in her skin.

"Nothing is wrong with you." Benny nodded his head as denial. "It's early and you're probably tired. You should get some sleep."

Beth pressed her lips. His presence was powerful enough to make her feel calm, to make her feel safe. She didn't want him to leave her, but she wasn't selfish enough to ask him to stay. According to her, the last time that they spoke, he was confused, and she was afraid of make the situation worse for him. As result, she merely affirmed with her head, agreeing with him.

"Well, I hope you sleep well." Benny rose up, looking at her.

"Thank you for coming." Beth tried her best smile, but she didn't know how to hide her sadness of not having Benny next to her. Being able to give him space so he could think about his feelings was more painful than she thought. She loved him enough to give him the chance to leave her if that meant seeing him happier.